Did you know that a lot of women think about hooking up daily? Does that come as a shocker to you? If so, then I must say that you’re absolutely crazy. No, but seriously, women are just as hungry as men are today. In fact, I’ll go out on a limb and say that we’re almost all aware of what a hookup is, I’m sure.
It boils down to simply, a man and a woman, man and a man, woman and a woman, or some variation thereof get together and have some fun, sexually speaking. It can be as simple as a makeout session, or as insane as a group of six between the sheets for a night. Really, the term has a lot of so-called “wiggle room.”
But despite this general understanding, even Webster’s Dictionary is at a loss as to how to describe this common human behavior. The term tends to mean a lot of things to a lot of different people, and it’s possible even you’re confused by the term!
It tends to be true that most women have a hookup fantasy that they come into a casual situation with. They’ll absolutely have pictured how the date is going to go, and how your night together is going to play out. Sometimes the woman is picturing a series of near-romantic events; Other times, she’s a monster in the bedroom. For men, it can be difficult to know exactly what type of situation they’re heading into, so it’d be nice if they could get some warning about what to expect.
What A Hookup Means To Women (The Average Female)
During the average hookup encounter, things can move pretty quickly from the bar to the bedroom, so it can be easy to ruin things by being so overly concerned about concepts such as setting “the mood” that you end up talking way too much. That being said, it can be a huge benefit to put a few questions out there before you meet up, so you know both what you and she really expect from that evening’s events.
Sending The Right Message
While I hate to be so literal about it, this is absolutely the first and most crucial batch of steps to making sure your potential female partner knows what’s coming. Knowing the right types of thing to say can really enhance your encounter, so it’s wise to come into the situation prepared. Below, I’ve written out a few examples of statements that should work perfectly for something like this:
“Hey there. I know we’re just getting started, but I feel like there are a few personal preferences I have that I’d like to share before we really get into this.”
“So, what are some of your tastes, sexually speaking? Are there any particular moves or habits that you’re looking for in a partner?”
“I really like where things are going, and that’s why before we keep going, I’d like to find out what sort of kinks you might have?”
If she responds well to these introductory questions, embrace the moment and dig a little more deeply. The more you can come into a hookup situation with the right knowledge, the better the woman is going to find you to be.
Boundaries & Ground Rules
So, you’ve exchanged a bunch of texts, things are going well, and now the pair of you are toying with the idea of meeting up. What comes next?
No surprise here, it’s time for some more clear & honest communication! While you’ve hopefully at this point established a firm understanding of both what you & your partner want, you may not have covered the types of things you DON’T want. Perhaps you’re a fan of the rougher stuff, and she’s a gentle soul. Maybe she likes being tied up, and you’re just not comfortable with rope play.
In 2019, anyone can have a hidden list of fetishes that just don’t mesh with the person they’re seeing. For example, hitting dom sex clubs. Setting up some ground rules concerning what she does and does NOT like in the bedroom is important for several reasons, including the emotional well-being of both parties concerned.
During The Hookup
Hopefully, at this point, you’ve made time to meet up with your potential new partner. You’ve already set up ground rules, and you have a good idea of what she likes & doesn’t like. Now, you need to remember to have fun and relax. Meeting a new mate can be downright terrifying, so try to keep in mind that you and she are keeping things casual for a reason.
Self-Needs, Self Care
So, you’ve set the stage, you’ve sent the right signals, and you’ve successfully gotten yourself into a hookup situation. You’re having a great time, and things seem to be progressing just the way you’d like them to. So how do you maintain this new & preferred “status quo?” With a bit of regular self-maintenance, that’s how!
There are numerous ideas & techniques regarding self-care, but the main goal in any of these approaches is to continue enjoying the activities that brought you joy prior to meeting your partner.
Women tend to get a little frustrated by male dependence when they’re only looking for a fling, so keeping yourself occupied & independent is a great way to avoid falling into this trap. It also helps to keep your mind clear, which is important when trying to think about your situation objectively.
Knowing When To Leave
While plenty of women out there are perfectly happy to keep things casual, it’s important to keep an eye on the development of your partnership.
Knowing the signs that indicate when your hookup may be thinking about you a little too romantically can help you decide that it’s time to leave before things take a nasty turn. Emotions are a tricky thing, and when physical affection is thrown into the mix, you can lose control of the situation before you know it.
Putting It All Together
Really, this comes down to an optimistic attitude, and a little bit of caution. Usually, you can tell pretty quickly if the woman you’re interacting with is “down” with your personality, or if she’s just not going to be the best potential match for you.
Also, don’t be mistaken: women are making up their minds about you just as quickly as you are about them. Stay cool, calm, and collected, and remember that women are often looking for a good, safe bit of fun, just like you!