Frankie Moretti

Author Archives: Frankie Moretti

Is It Something More Than A Typical Hookup?

More Than A Hookup

Our modern-day hookup culture has come into being primarily thanks to how sexualized we are nowadays. The excitement we feel when we engage in late night romantic adventures allows us to engage in a lot of pleasures that most of us would only dream about. But hooking up also allows us to embrace our innermost wants without feeling judged or shamed for embracing the sides of physical attraction that are a bit off of the beaten path.

Nowadays, folks that embrace this sort of casual lifestyle are referred to as “sociosexually unrestricted” individuals. This movement contains people from just about every subculture and group out there, meaning that there’s a place for everything, and everything has its place, sexually speaking. Folks who grew up in the 60s can’t help but find some parallels between the rockin’ days of their time, and the modern sexual revolutions were in the midst of today.
Hopefully, this time around we’ll learn a bit more about what drives these urges in ourselves, and what makes us regularly seek out deep love and affection.

Hookup Science Gif

Signs That It’s Becoming More Than A Hookup (What To Look For)

Sex tends to be profoundly intimate for a lot of people, which is why it isn’t always that surprising to find out that your casual hookup may be getting some bonafide feels for you. As much as we’d like to kid ourselves, the truth is that the lines between lust and love can often get blurry, especially if you find a strong connection with your partner.

But, even though it’s obvious to a lot of us how and why this can start to happen, some of us remain blissfully unaware of the signs that show us this is happening. Below, I’ve outlined some behaviors and situations to pay attention to if you think your fling is starting to think you’re the “real thing.”

You Talk All The Time, About Everything

One of the first and most fundamental rules, when you’re hooking up with someone on the regular, is to leave before the morning can start. Some people think you should even go so far as to leave the same night, to avoid having the kind of interactions reserved for couples.

This can be a tricky situation to navigate, especially if you find yourself being the one who tries to linger a little while longer in the morning. This can lead to some serious self-doubt and confusion, which is why it’s wise to take a step back and consider the situation. Are you finding that your conversations naturally last longer and longer? Has the other person been guilty of hanging around more often than you’d expect?

These are healthy questions to ask yourself to avoid heartache. It’s entirely possible that part of the reason you’re feeling “real feelings” for them is that they’re sending the same vibes at you.

You Are Genuinely Concerned With Each-Other’s Lives

There’s a huge difference between showing a respectful level of interest in your hookup’s day-to-day events and having a legitimate investment in their lives and feelings.

A major sign of this is the sudden outpourings of emotional topics. Perhaps your casual hookup has just argued with her mother and decides that your the right person talk it over with. Or maybe you’ve just suddenly gotten into a car wreck, and find yourself pulling up their number to let them know what’s happened.

These aren’t the types of situations that get talked about when all you’re doing is sleeping with someone, and it’s a clear indicator that you care about each other.

Sometimes, You Don’t Even Sleep Together

This particular sign is about as obvious as it gets, and yet there are still people out there who don’t put the pieces together.

If you’re spending time with your casual fling doing things like having lunch, going to the movies, or having drinks, you should know that you’re going on dates, at least by the traditional definition.

Spending time interacting with someone socially that you also share a physical relationship with is dangerously close to dating, save for a few perceived responsibilities. Keep this in mind if you guys are having coffee a little too often.

You Are Really Into Each Other

This is slightly related to the last point but definitely takes the idea a step further. Showing nurturing behavior to a person that you’re sleeping with exposes a level of intimacy and feelings that go well beyond the physical, and will almost universally create a foundation of emotional interactions for you both to pull from.

When these signs start to show themselves, it’s time to make up your mind as to where your heart lies.

You Spend A Majority Of Your Time Together

A hookup is, by the textbook definition, casual and sporadic. That means that you’re going to be seeing your casual partner every now and again, without ever putting too fine of a point on it. This tends to be part of why keeping things casual is so enticing for people, as it doesn’t place substantial demands on their time. For others, it can also be fairly intimidating to be in a situation that for all intents and purposes will be “forever.”

The time spent together with a hookup is really the last dividing line between a casual encounter and a partner that you’re seriously dating. Investing more than a few hours of time into communications and interactions with your fling means that well…it’s not a fling anymore.

At The End Of The Day

The bottom line here is communication. Being candid and open about your intentions is crucial, not just to your partner’s well being, but also your own.

Human biology and sexual chemistry can be very, very confusing. Making sense of all the hormones and emotions being tossed around is never easy, but it’s smart to always keep on the lookout for these signs. It just may save you from a bit of heartache.

May 5, 2019

Tinder Super Likes Notification – What Is It?

Tinder Super Likes

The mobile app Tinder tends to be a fantastic way for individuals to meet locally for dating and short-term enjoyment. They’ve also expanded their offerings more recently to include Plus & Gold services, both of which allow you to meet people long distance, as well as locally.

tinder super like match

Tinder Super Likes (The Details)

As an app, Tinder has been steadily gaining popularity in the dating markets for years, and as it grows the buzz around it only intensifies. For a lot of folks, the transformation of the modern dating scene into something almost completely digital was almost unimaginable only ten or fifteen years ago. If you’re this sort of person, you should most definitely check out the online guides available on using the app as well as you can.

When you’re familiar with how to use Tinder, it’s a wonderful experience. The app allows you to sit in the comfort of your own home and browse for matches, as opposed to going to your local bar and trying to pick someone up. Tinder was the first to popularize the “swipe” that has become fairly ubiquitous within mobile dating apps. This works pretty simply, swiping your finger across the screen in either direction to indicate whether you’re interested in someone or not. If you’ve been selected by the individual you swipe right for, you’ll be matched and can start chatting immediately.

So, this is all pretty fun & functional, but what happens when swiping just becomes a little too commonplace? Well, remember when I mentioned the Plus and Gold memberships briefly above? This is where those added features become valuable, as they can really spice up your base level Tinder experience. Below, I’m going to cover a specific bonus feature offered by Tinder, called the “Super Like.”

So, What The Heck Is A Super Like?

So, boiled down to the simplest explanation, a super like is basically an extra signal to the other person that you’re very, very interested in them. Here’s how it works; Normally, when you swipe right on an individual, they won’t be notified unless they’ve swiped right on you as well. But when you make the extra step to super like a person, they’ll be notified immediately that you’ve… give them a wave, so to speak.

Tinder first released this feature in 2015, and it almost immediately created a buzz within the community. It definitely gives individuals a fighting chance to match with individuals that normally would pass a lot of people over due to the sheer number of matches they receive.

So, how do you super like someone? It’s actually pretty easy. Typically when you’re using the app (as well as other apps) you have to swipe either left or right, however when you find someone worth a super like, you’ll have to swipe upwards. There’s also a star icon sandwiched between the like and dislike buttons at the bottom of the screen which will perform the same action as a swipe upwards.

Is A Super Like The Right Move?

Sometimes it can be hard to decide whether or not to use a super like because different people perceive them in different ways. A person might get really excited that an individual is so over the top interested in them. But for every one of these kinds of folks, there are others who will wonder why you’re so needy that you needed to use a special feature to try and grab their attention. These sorts of thoughts on their side of the situation can sometimes even bleed over into the conversations that occur once you’ve met.

There’s also a third contingent of people that just think the whole super like function is a complete waste of time, in that it nullifies the matching function that the app was initially designed to have.

While all of these perspectives have their merits, at the end of the day just follow your gut and do what feels right at the moment. Or, if you’re the third type of individuals here…just don’t use the feature!

Checking Out Your Super Likes

So, the first step to being able to see your super likes is by having your Tinder notifications set to “On,” after which you’ll be alerted to any super likes. Keep in mind that if you’ve only got a free Tinder profile (as opposed to the Gold or Plus profiles), you won’t be able to see who it was that super liked you until the two of you actually match. Some people actually prefer the basic, free profile as they enjoy the excitement that surrounds a super like without a face to go along with it.

If you’re a Plus or Gold member, you can tap on the initial super like notification from your phone to get you into the app. From there, you’ll swipe through a few standard profile cards before you come across a card outlined in blue. This will be the signal that you’re looking at your “super like” admirer. You’ll also notice a blue star icon displayed on their profile.

If you’re like a lot of other people, you don’t like to be bothered by phone notifications, which is why you may have your Tinder alerts turned off. This could be concerning for you, as you might be thinking, “What if I miss when an individual decides to Super Like my profile? Am I just out of luck?”

The answer is, not in the slightest! The only difference here is that you may have to swipe through a few additional profile cards before landing on your super like, as they’ll have been “shuffled” back into the “deck.”

Either way, you’ll be able to check out your super like with just a few swipes. You’ll also be able to see all of the super likes that you’ve matched with by looking at your list of total matches. Here, they’ll also be outlined in blue and have a blue star icon.

What I Think

The Tinder Super Like can be a powerful tool to help you find that perfect match, as long as you use it wisely. Individuals are only given a single Super Like per day, so you’ll want to be pretty sure that the person you’re looking at is worth the risk.

My advice? Download the app, upgrade your membership, and jump into one of the single biggest dating pools of the decade. If you’re into more risque stuff, then you’ll want to give this site here a shot instead.

April 30, 2019

How To Meet Your Rich Sugar Momma

sugar momma on a plane

If you’re a young guy that likes women who are still seeking some fun, yet they might be old or older, and they got some money, then it’s a sugar momma that you need! Seriously, if you’re a man looking for a well-off woman to take care of things for you, trust me when I say that you’re not alone!

I’ve been searching for my official millionaire momma for years or at least the one I want to finally settle down with, lol.

For men who are less-than-rich, meeting a financial powerhouse who can satisfy your sexual urges (and bills as well) can absolutely change your life for the better. You’ll be able to do things like fly to exotic locations & drive fast cars, all while simultaneously have a casual sex partner to live out your fantasies with. And don’t forget, it’s all being given to you by a hot, wealthy woman who loves nothing more than taking care of you!

Sugar Momma Money

How To Find The Perfect Sugar Momma

Even though the sugar momma trend has grown a lot over the past few years, it can still be pretty tricky finding a woman to take care of you if you haven’t got an idea of where to look. Another challenge for the less-familiar is keeping a sugar momma around once you’ve “gotten” them in the first place. If you think she’s going to want to give you all of this sex and wealth without asking for anything in return, you are sadly mistaken. Why even start a relationship like this if you aren’t concerned with keeping them in your lives?

This Is The Year Of The Sugar Momma

In the modern era, women in the United States are experiencing a series of revolutions in the professional, political, and social spheres. Because of these growing socio-political changes, there’s a newfound sense of freedom that goes along with newfound wealth & political power.

Basically, you’ve got more rich, powerful women realizing that they can call the shots in their romantic lives. And (no surprise here), when an older woman realizes that she can have whatever she wants, she does what a lot of older men & women would do: find a hot young stud.

Official Definition

Before going any further, we should probably start with outlining what a sugar momma is. Often these women can be mistaken for cougars, but the truth is that these two things are entirely different. A sugar momma is looking to trade financial support for sex and companionship.

Usually, these women are going to go for significantly younger men, which tends to be why they’re lumped into the cougar category. But the truth is that cougars and sugar mommas are alike only in that they tend to be older women going after younger men.

A great way to tell if you’re dating a sugar momma is to find out exactly how established they are in their careers. Often times, sugar mommas hold real positions of power in their place of work, and getting an inside look into these types of situations can be a great identifier.

Places To Meet

So, if you’re on the lookout for a sugar momma of your own, there are few great places you can hang around in and try to pick them up. I’m going to kick things off by saying that there are a few cities that seem to house more of these rich older ladies than others.

Let me go ahead and just suggest that you spend time in a few places like South Florida, San Diego, New York City (my city), and Chicago. You’ll meet tons of rich women if you reside in any of those areas. Now, these places tend to be where wealthy older women like to hang out:

  • Casinos – It’s not much of a secret that older women with money to burn like to do it these types of establishments. Grab a cup of quarters, and find the women with the best-looking business suit.
  • Auctions – Another great way for wealthy folks to spend their money is at charity auctions. Keep your eyes peeled for the high female bidders, and try to strike up a conversation.
  • Boat & Yacht Clubs – Many semi-retired sugar mommas enjoy the boat life, so why not get out on the waves with them? Maybe throw on a captain’s hat to really impress them!
  • Jewelers / High-End Malls – This last one should be a no brainer. You don’t need the woman to be a sugar momma to want to spend her money on jewelry, but chances are, once they’ve gotten a taste of the sweet life, they’ll want the perks that come with it (namely an energetic young buck)!

Places On The World Wide Web

If you’re not completely comfortable finding a sugar momma in real life, you can also try one of the many websites devotes to connecting older women & younger men. What I personally like to do is sign up for multiple sites at once, to try and have as many chances as possible of finding a new connection. A great part of looking on these types of sites is that you don’t have to be concerned about mixed signals, as these women know exactly what they’re looking for.

money in my hand gif

Get ‘Em & Keep ‘Em

This may potentially be the hardest part of being the male partner to a sugar momma: keeping her. These women are looking for a strange blend of youthfulness and maturity, which can sometimes be a hard middle ground to hit. She’s looking for a man who makes her feel young & carefree, but she also doesn’t want someone who’s going to leave a mess & the kitchen or act a fool out at the clubs.

The key here is knowing when to shut your mouth and sit down. Older women love it when they’re younger beau has the wherewithal to handle social situations & settings correctly. If you aren’t sure about something, better to take a moment away and Google whatever etiquette questions you might have. Your brand new sugar momma doesn’t need to know that her new man is, well, new.

What To Remember

If you really want to find land yourself in a situation like the one I’ve described above, remember that you’re going to have to put down things like video games and pick up things like VIP bottle service and late nights out clubbing. A woman in her early fifties probably isn’t going to want to stay up until 3 am watching you play Call of Duty.

Also, as I said above, chances are if you meet up with a woman over forty, they’re going to be reveling in (often) the peak levels of their sexuality. Besides keeping your attitude in check, you’re going to have to accept that this is a physical relationship, first & foremost. If that’s a fact you’re comfortable with, you should have no problem settling into a situation like this.

What’s the alternative you ask? Well, I guess it’s having negative cash flow and hiring someone to have sex with you, something I don’t condone in the NY area.

Just make the right moves and you’ll be all set. Trust me on this one, give it a shot and see what happens.

April 30, 2019

Thought Process of Women and Hooking Up (My Personal Opinion)

Did you know that a lot of women think about hooking up daily? Does that come as a shocker to you? If so, then I must say that you’re absolutely crazy. No, but seriously, women are just as hungry as men are today. In fact, I’ll go out on a limb and say that we’re almost all aware of what a hookup is, I’m sure.

It boils down to simply, a man and a woman, man and a man, woman and a woman, or some variation thereof get together and have some fun, sexually speaking. It can be as simple as a makeout session, or as insane as a group of six between the sheets for a night. Really, the term has a lot of so-called “wiggle room.”

But despite this general understanding, even Webster’s Dictionary is at a loss as to how to describe this common human behavior. The term tends to mean a lot of things to a lot of different people, and it’s possible even you’re confused by the term!

It tends to be true that most women have a hookup fantasy that they come into a casual situation with. They’ll absolutely have pictured how the date is going to go, and how your night together is going to play out. Sometimes the woman is picturing a series of near-romantic events; Other times, she’s a monster in the bedroom. For men, it can be difficult to know exactly what type of situation they’re heading into, so it’d be nice if they could get some warning about what to expect.

It's alive meme

What A Hookup Means To Women (The Average Female)

During the average hookup encounter, things can move pretty quickly from the bar to the bedroom, so it can be easy to ruin things by being so overly concerned about concepts such as setting “the mood” that you end up talking way too much. That being said, it can be a huge benefit to put a few questions out there before you meet up, so you know both what you and she really expect from that evening’s events.

Sending The Right Message

While I hate to be so literal about it, this is absolutely the first and most crucial batch of steps to making sure your potential female partner knows what’s coming. Knowing the right types of thing to say can really enhance your encounter, so it’s wise to come into the situation prepared. Below, I’ve written out a few examples of statements that should work perfectly for something like this:

“Hey there. I know we’re just getting started, but I feel like there are a few personal preferences I have that I’d like to share before we really get into this.”

“So, what are some of your tastes, sexually speaking? Are there any particular moves or habits that you’re looking for in a partner?”

“I really like where things are going, and that’s why before we keep going, I’d like to find out what sort of kinks you might have?”

If she responds well to these introductory questions, embrace the moment and dig a little more deeply. The more you can come into a hookup situation with the right knowledge, the better the woman is going to find you to be.

Boundaries & Ground Rules

So, you’ve exchanged a bunch of texts, things are going well, and now the pair of you are toying with the idea of meeting up. What comes next?

No surprise here, it’s time for some more clear & honest communication! While you’ve hopefully at this point established a firm understanding of both what you & your partner want, you may not have covered the types of things you DON’T want. Perhaps you’re a fan of the rougher stuff, and she’s a gentle soul. Maybe she likes being tied up, and you’re just not comfortable with rope play.

In 2019, anyone can have a hidden list of fetishes that just don’t mesh with the person they’re seeing. For example, hitting dom sex clubs. Setting up some ground rules concerning what she does and does NOT like in the bedroom is important for several reasons, including the emotional well-being of both parties concerned.

During The Hookup

Hopefully, at this point, you’ve made time to meet up with your potential new partner. You’ve already set up ground rules, and you have a good idea of what she likes & doesn’t like. Now, you need to remember to have fun and relax. Meeting a new mate can be downright terrifying, so try to keep in mind that you and she are keeping things casual for a reason.

Self-Needs, Self Care

So, you’ve set the stage, you’ve sent the right signals, and you’ve successfully gotten yourself into a hookup situation. You’re having a great time, and things seem to be progressing just the way you’d like them to. So how do you maintain this new & preferred “status quo?” With a bit of regular self-maintenance, that’s how!

There are numerous ideas & techniques regarding self-care, but the main goal in any of these approaches is to continue enjoying the activities that brought you joy prior to meeting your partner.

Women tend to get a little frustrated by male dependence when they’re only looking for a fling, so keeping yourself occupied & independent is a great way to avoid falling into this trap. It also helps to keep your mind clear, which is important when trying to think about your situation objectively.

Knowing When To Leave

While plenty of women out there are perfectly happy to keep things casual, it’s important to keep an eye on the development of your partnership.

Knowing the signs that indicate when your hookup may be thinking about you a little too romantically can help you decide that it’s time to leave before things take a nasty turn. Emotions are a tricky thing, and when physical affection is thrown into the mix, you can lose control of the situation before you know it.

Putting It All Together

Really, this comes down to an optimistic attitude, and a little bit of caution. Usually, you can tell pretty quickly if the woman you’re interacting with is “down” with your personality, or if she’s just not going to be the best potential match for you.

Also, don’t be mistaken: women are making up their minds about you just as quickly as you are about them. Stay cool, calm, and collected, and remember that women are often looking for a good, safe bit of fun, just like you!

April 16, 2019

eHarmony Login and Free Trial (Get Yours Today)

eHarmony Review

Nowadays, trying to find your perfect, end-all-be-all soulmate is almost old-fashioned. Gone are the days where we over-romanticize the perils and pitfalls of our dating lives. That’s why eHarmony is so great, as it brings with it a fantastic list of questions meant to let you know people a little better, before ever reaching out. There are a ton of dating apps on the market that charge its users a pretty hefty fee, which makes the whole process a little more difficult for some folks to get interested in using. eHarmony avoids all that by letting its users sign up for a completely free trial account, allowing you to save your dollars until you’re convinced that the full, paid site is a good bet. If you do decide to pay for the full version of eHarmony, there are a bunch of great features that get unlocked. However, even during your trial, you’ll be able to browse new user profiles, message a few people, and generally “get your feet wet.”

eharmony free trials

Getting A Trial eHarmony Account

eHarmony gives you just a total of three days to make up your mind about their site, so it’s important to use it a lot while you’re enjoying your trial. While not everyone is going to find this period of time to be optimal, in my opinion, it’s more than enough time to find out if this site is right for you. What I’d recommend is setting up your profile on a Friday afternoon, which will let you check the site out all weekend long, thus improving your chances of finding a match or date before time runs out, and you’re forced to crack open your wallet.

The point above is also important because of eHarmony’s specialized “Guided communication,” which is specifically designed to help you start conversations. If you’re going to try this software out, you might as well do it during some of their busiest days, right?

Throughout these seventy hours, if you make the call that this app just isn’t the right fit for your lifestyle, the cancellation process couldn’t be easier. Just take care to keep track of your signup and deadline times, as even an hour or two over the line will result in a month’s worth of charges.

My Best Tricks For Getting A Free Trial

Setting up your initial profile is probably going to take a few minutes, so don’t get discouraged if you feel like it’s taking too long to get started. You’re going to want to fill out and answer all the questions they throw at you, including payment information for the trial plan. Make sure you go through your profile set up before you hit the payment options, as it’ll give you a little extra time to browse profiles for free instead of spending the first few moments of your free trial setting up a member profile.

What Next?

Now that you’ve solidified your free trial, it’s time to start checking out profiles that have been suggested for you. Remember, eHarmony doesn’t suggest that you browse random profiles. Instead, they’ll provide you with their best ideas for your match based on the questions you’ve already answered. As you start to look around, you’ll probably notice that viewing images in your matched profiles isn’t possible during your trial, unless you couch up a few extra dollars.

Instead of this, I’ve found a few ways to (at least temporarily) use these added features for free.

1) Free Communication Weekends

So alerts for these promotional weekends can be found on the registration page of eHarmony. While they typically only happen once or twice a month, it’s wise to keep on the lookout for these deals. If you wait to sign up until a Free Communication Weekend, you’ll have from Friday through Sunday to use the full-featured eHarmony site, at no additional cost!

2) Promo Codes

The second option for people who really want to save their money while still checking out the eHarmony dating site is to find some sort of promotional code through a third-party site. These codes will typically be in the form of either a free month’s subscription or a percentage off of your first month’s membership fees. Either way, websites like this tend to release promo codes pretty often, so keep a lookout for these sorts of bargains!

If you’re looking for something more risque and forward, then you might want to check out these sites here. You can find promo codes and free offers for those as well.

What’s The Fine Print On This Trial?

So, as I half-mentioned above, you will be required to enter payment information while registering for your free trial. What I didn’t mention is that this payment info will be used to take a refundable payment of $40 from your account. This tends to be off-putting for some, as just forgetting to log in and cancel a few hours too late could cost you a hefty chunk of money for a product you’ve decided not to purchase.

My advice here is to make a simple reminder, either on your calendar or phone. If you’re mature enough to be looking for a significant other, you’re probably responsible enough to keep track of when to cancel.

The Bottom Line

I can think of a plethora of reasons to try out eHarmony, even if only for a few days. Honestly, the matching algorithm by itself is interesting to try out, even if it’s just to get your daily match notifications and see if eHarmony has a handle on what you like. The site even provides a free profile analysis that you’re can take with you if you decide to opt out of a full membership.

Keep in mind, eHarmony has a rigid structure that isn’t for everyone. The questionnaires are fixed, and users aren’t able to add “quirky” person facts that they may find relevant. The $40 charge upfront is a sticking point as well. There’s also the frustration of not being able to share certain personal details or messages before you’ve upgraded. However, even with these few negative points, I’d still recommend giving a free trial a shot – click here. You just may find that their app is perfect for you! If not, there are plenty of other apps out there to tinker with, trust me!

April 16, 2019

Tips To Help You Not Ruin A Casual Relationship

casual dating relationship meme

Regardless of the type of sex and affection you enjoy, you no doubt enjoy yourself when you engage in it. While a random, one-night hookup can be a lot of fun, it’s also great to enjoy a casual, consistent hookup. These kinds of connections are often called “friends with benefits,” and can really be an enjoyable situation.

Regardless of how you personally enjoy sex, we can pretty much all agree that sex is fun. For the younger generations, this more and more seems to be casual sex without long-term commitments (which commonly result in no sex). If you’re an individual who falls into this category, it can be challenging to maintain these casual relationships, which is why it’s so important to understand how the whole thing is supposed to work.

truth about casual relationships

How To Not Ruin A “Casual” Situation

So, just like a long term relationship, a casual sexual relationship needs a set of ground rules. Without these self-imposed boundaries, folks who are just getting used to seeing someone casually can get mixed up about what expectations might exist. Below, I outline some of the most important guidelines for maintaining a casual relationship.

Tell Them The Truth

Honesty typically tends to be the best policy if you want to keep your casual relationship healthy and consistent. Due to the lack of typical obligations, casual relationships often require a high degree of honesty and communication. Without this, your partner may fall prey to feelings of isolation or insecurity, because they perceive themselves as being victimized in some way.

Luckily, this set of potential problems is pretty easy to avoid, thanks to the more untraditional nature of the relationship. You can & should feel free to “think outside the box” when trying to come to a mutually agreed upon set of boundaries. And don’t forget that you’ve always got the ability to walk away from a casual relationship if your partner isn’t willing to provide you with the things you need.

Keep Your Cool

While communication is key in a casual relationship, focusing on emotions too much can end up ruining things for both parties. Emotions aren’t usually the focus for casual connections, as the whole point of staying casual is to keep things simple, and free of romantic “debris.”

In short, if you’re determined to keep things casual and “off the cuff,” remember that emotions can be the true enemy, save for passion. This is supposed to be about sex, first and foremost.

Be Real With Yourself

If you find that you’re the one in the relationship which seems to be “catching feelings,” remember that opening up about this new emotions can adversely affect things between you and your partner, sometimes even leading to conflict. If you’re coming to an emotional place where you aren’t satisfied, it might be time to cut ties and look for something more serious with an individual who wants what you want.

Stay Out Of Their Business

A key component to keeping your feelings under control (and out of your hookups) is to stay removed from your casual partner’s life. Try to keep clear of their social media, as this can often be a window into behaviors and situations that you just don’t want.

When interacting in person or on the phone, it’s best to keep things light. If they’re looking to share facts about themselves with you, that’s fine, as long as you’re comfortable with this level of closeness. But try to remember that any added depth regarding your relationship with this person can be a quick road towards developing romantic feelings, something you should always be trying to avoid.

if you’re unsure about where the boundaries are regarding healthy distance in a sexual relationship, it’s always best to just ask.

No Dates, Ever

This guideline seems almost petty, but it’s pretty important. Dates are reserved for couples who are looking to share social and romantic intimacy, not for folks who just love hooking up with each other. The whole point of planning these types of events is to foster closeness, something that you should be actively trying to avoid.

Bottom line: Don’t reserve that table for two at your local Italian eatery unless you’re trying to push the relationship into “long term” territory.

Let Them Reach Out

In 2019, texting is the preferred method of communication for a lot of us, but it can be used to your detriment if you aren’t careful.

When you’re excited about a new sexual partner, you may find that you’re driven to message them often, which may push them away. If your brand new “friend with benefits” is really just looking to keep things centered around your physical relationship, a slew of messages about your thoughts and feelings is the opposite of what they want.

It’s always fun to be excited about a new sexual partner, but make sure you aren’t blinded by the excitement, as it could lead to shooting yourself in the foot, romantically.

Respect, Respect, & More Respect

Casual daters can never be too aware of your casual partner’s needs and boundaries, and paying them the respect that they deserve can help maintain a healthy connection for both of you. This can be regarding sexual proclivities, frequency in communication, and anything in-between.

Just because the relationship is casual and based on physicality doesn’t mean that you need to treat the person as if they’re a possession. Maintain a respectful discourse at all times, and you’ll find that the relationship almost maintains itself.

Don’t Base Things On Intoxicants

This last one is something I’ve unfortunately had the experience of dealing with, and it directly related to my previous point.

If you’re only ever contacting your sexual partner when you’ve had a bit too much to drink, you’re showing them the opposite of respect. This is all too common, especially for younger folks in college, and it can really mess with a person’s self-worth. How would you feel if you only ever felt “desired” when your partner was blackout drunk? I guess it could be worse, it could be the crazy JetBlue lady I wrote about, lol.

What I Think

To be completely honest, this all boils down to thinking critically about your relationships and your conduct. It’s pretty easy to maintain a casual relationship, provided you and your partner stay open and honest about your wants and expectations.

Stay aware, remember to have fun, and give casual dating a shot. You may find that it’s exactly the type of situation you’ve been searching for!

Hey, if all else fails and you don’t see things working out the way they should, then just tell your “hookup partner” goodbye for good!

April 15, 2019

How To Have A Threesome (Invitation Tips)

Threesome lying in a bed

If you’re looking to have a threesome then this article will help you out. I’m covering the hardest part of making this whole thing happen, the invitation. By the time you finish reading this article, you should have a grasp on things and totally understand what you need to do to secure a threesome with you and two other people.

It’s become pretty clear in modern times that couples are becoming increasingly interested in bringing a third person into their bedroom activities, something that people commonly refer to as “opening up” their married lives. Without a doubt, these married couples have positive motivations for engaging in this behavior, as modern science has suggested that as humans, we’re “always looking” to engage with multiple partners.

threesome meme

Professionals would tell us that this urge to be with multiple partners is completely natural (although some data suggested that men have a larger propensity for “wandering”). And as a male, I can certainly confirm that this tends to be a fantasy for us at some time in our lives.

That being said, women can just as readily get excited by the prospect of a new lover in the bedroom, or perhaps two or three! The reasons behind this can vary immensely, with some people simply just being excited by watching their partner with someone else.

And these types of behaviors aren’t uncommon when you think about the sheer number of times a friend has mentioned “experimenting” in college. It’s a typical human instinct, wanting to explore your sexuality, and this is something that would naturally follow individuals into their marriages.

Inviting A Friend Into A Threesome (Personal Tips)

So, you’re in a successful and happy marriage, but you and your partner have decided to spice it up a little. Where do you go from here?

Full Comfort & Disclosure

Before a couple can even get started in the world of polyamory, it’s vital that they maintain open and honest lines of communication. It makes complete sense to want to get down to the real motivations behind your partner’s interest in bringing someone new into the bedroom, as you can avoid any unwanted emotional “pitfalls” later on.

Communication is also important with the potential third individual you’re inviting into your lives. It’s smart to remember that these people also have their own set of emotions, expectations, and tastes. The clearer you are with them from the start, the better the situation will be.

If you and your partner can navigate this all-important component of bringing a third party into your bedroom, you may find that it brings you and your partner closer together than you had ever thought possible.

In this same vein, there are some ground rules that couples should stick to if they’ve mutually decided that it’s time to “open things up.”

1) Forget About Getting Jealous

If you are focused on being able to have an open (and honest) marriage, you’ll have to open up every facet of your feelings to your partner, especially regarding your romantic feelings.

Picture how you would feel if your partner asked you to just blindly follow your wants, instead of having a series of conversations about it. Without a thoughtful and planned approach, tensions can sometimes run high regarding an open relationship.

Jealousy can be extremely toxic in everyday “vanilla” relationships, so navigating these waters can be even trickier with multiple partners. At the end of the day, everyone concerned needs to feel secure and comfortable with the new interactions that come along with threesomes and open relationships, so keeping yourself honest about where you’re at emotionally, while also making an effort to communicate with your partner (or partners) is the first key to making the whole thing work. You wouldn’t want to inadvertently get stuck between two jealous partners, both of whom feel possessive over you.

2) Don’t Forget About Having A Good Time

For quite a few married couples, approaching the subject of a threesome can elicit feelings of infidelity, even if both parties are into the idea. Often, couples will wonder if engaging in a threesome will mean that they’re no longer faithful to each other.

if you’ve stayed open and honest with each other about this whole process, but are still getting bothered by these intrusive thoughts, it helps to remember what this is all about: fun.

Inviting another partner into the bedroom is supposed to be a pleasurable and enjoyable experience. In essence, you and your spouse are looking to bring a sense of fun and excitement into your physical relationship. You’re almost throwing yourselves a celebratory party regarding your shared sexuality. Remember, threesomes and open marriages are about embracing your true selves while having a blast in the process.

3) Try To Improve Yourself

A wonderful “bonus” of sharing you & your partner’s sex lives with others is that you may learn some new tricks. Perhaps there’s a move that your partner has always yearned for, but you never knew how to do it (or even that they wanted it). Sometimes your new sexual partner can inadvertently unlock these doors, opening up a brand new world regarding pleasuring your partner.

Marriages can often fall into a sense of monotony and routine, & taking your sex lives up a notch or two with an additional partner is a great way to combat this pitfall. This leads to my final point.

4) Reigniting Your Spark

Even for couples who don’t feel trapped by the mundane day-to-day grind a marriage can sometimes create, there’s still the decent chance that you’ll sometimes get bored with your partner. Seeing the same person every day can naturally have this effect, even if you think the world of your spouse.

Seeing your partner engage with anymore man or woman can sometimes completely change the light that you see them in. Many articles regarding the effects of threesomes on couples have stated this very fact, with both husbands and wives noticing an increased “wanting” for their significant other after seeing them in a new way.

Final Thoughts

A marriage is a lot like a home, in that you may occasionally want to redecorate or remodel.

Bringing changes into a committed partnership can be scary, and that goes double if it’s centered around your sexual life. But the evidence seems to continue to point towards several positive effects if you can stay honest about what each-other want.

if you both make sure to communicate often and keep each other’s well-being a priority, then a threesome may just be a perfect thing to bring some “home improvements” to your relationship.

If you still feel lost after reading this article, then go ahead and read more articles or just contact me and I’ll try to help you via email.

April 12, 2019

The Best Christian Dating Sites Reviewed

Christian couple in bed

Today I’m going to talk about a subject that I rarely touch upon. That’s right folks, religion! I’m covering some facts about Christian dating sites and I think you’ll want to read this if you haven’t made a decision with what type of dating site you’re looking for.

Full disclosure, I’m not necessarily into the Christian or mainstream dating stuff, but that doesn’t mean that you should pass it up 100% just because I don’t like it. Research things by reading this and learn more about this niche.

Christian dating network

I’ll kick things off with the typical introduction…

Have you been without a companion for quite some time? Is it difficult for you to find what you would consider your perfect match? Once upon a time, finding a significant other was as easy as waiting for your parents to find you your husband or wife. Nowadays, the mindsets regarding dating and relationships have changed completely.

In 2019, online dating isn’t as much the “next big thing” as it is the only thing, which is why almost everyone you know has either tried finding someone via the internet or is currently on the hunt.

Another component for why online dating has become so popular is what we often call the “hustle & bustle” or the “rat race.” Modern times require us to be busy just about every second of the day, which means it’s a lot harder now to meet individuals in person.

There are quite a few dating websites that cater to different specialties, like BDSM and swinging, but in addition to these types of “flavors,” there are also dating sites based on religion, for example, quite a few people have heard of “JDate,” a Jewish-centric dating site.

In this article, I’ll be covering Christian dating sites, in the hopes that those of this particular faith may be able to find love online.

The Best Christian Dating Sites (According To Me)

Here’s a list of the best and they’re in no particular order. Just read up on each of them and take action where you see fit. There you go!

Zoosk

Zoosk has been running strong for over a decade, it’s also an alternative to Tinder, receiving a slew of awards in the process. Because of this, Zoosk has been quite successful in the online dating world, gaining a following of over 40 million individuals as of 2019. Initially, a component of Facebook, Zoosk founders Shayan Zadeh, and Alex Mehr quickly realized that the app was being used primarily for romantic connections, after which time they started pushing the dating functions as the primary use for Zoosk.

In recent years, what has made Zoosk stand out from the crowd is their Behavioral Matchmaking technology, which constant learns behinds the scenes and tries to make you better, more meaningful connections.

Match

Match.com (who also owns Datehookup.com) has been around for an exceptionally long time, first hitting the internet in 1995, where it was featured in an article in the popular technology magazine ‘Wired”. It’s been a “pay-to-play” website since its inception, a trend that continues to this day.

Due to the sheer amount of time Match.com has been live, the company has released a version of their site in over twenty different languages, making it an extremely popular option of individuals looking for something a little more international. It’s also almost 50% single parents, to keep that in mind if you’re going to take a look.

In 2019, they’ve been releasing design and functionality updates pretty often, including layout changes and a completely new interface.

eHarmony

eHarmony isn’t strictly for Christians, but like the other sites I’ve already mentioned, it’s got the ability to keep your searches in line with your beliefs, which makes it a great dating resource for Christian singles.

The website was founded in 2000 by Dr. Neil Clark Warren, a clinical psychologist, as well as a proclaimed “relationship specialist” with over thirty years’ worth of experience in the field.

e-Harmony is known for its Compatibility Matching System, which Dr. Warren had a large hand in developing. The site was one of the first to offer only matches that they selected for their members, as opposed to looking for the connections themselves. It’s the perfect dating site for individuals who make be somewhat intimidated by the sheer amount of options other dating sites provide.

Christian Mingle

Easily one of the better-known Christian dating apps, Christian Mingle has been running strong since 2001. They claim to have helped hundreds of thousands of folks meet their long-term Christian partners, and claim to have a user base of over 15 million people currently.

Something that the site has made sure to tackle is the mobile realm, keeping up with their contemporaries by making their website fully accessible from mobile browsers, an approach that I think is smart, given that their user base tends to be a bit older. I would assume that this is also the main driver behind the exceptionally high marriage rates that Christian Mingle boasts about.

Interestingly, Christian Mingle offers limited functionality for free members, something that seems a little counter-intuitive given the social framework we’re discussing here.

Christian Cafe

If you can believe it, Christian Cafe is exactly what it sounds like: a website designed to set up coffee dates with fellow Christians. It is proudly Christian-owned and operated, and has been running since 1999. The site takes a hardline stance against polyamory, with married and “taken” individuals being barred from participating in the site.

Christian Cafe tends to be more about community than anything else, which is why they’re so particular about who joins their ranks. Foul language is banned, along with any sort of overt eroticism, be it in users’ photos or even in their profile text. They also are very proactive with fake profiles, eliminating any users that have been inactive for more than 90 days.

The site sticks to a more typical profile search-based approach, allowing their users to browse the profile database based on their list of requirements.

OurTime

OurTime is an age-based dating platform, with users being required to be over the age of 50. The website tried to keep things a little bit more streamlined than other sites, stripping away some peripheral features instead of an “easy-to-use” interface, something they’ve done to make online dating a bit easier for the senior crowd.

OurTime offers most of their functionality free of charge, although they do offer a paid plan that provides some limited enhancements, with charges starting at $15 a month.

The site doesn’t stay strictly within the dating realm either, with OurTime offering options for friendships, short-term connections, and long-term relationships.

Christian People Meet

Rounding out this list is Christian People Meet, another Christian-specific dating site that offers a bunch of “21st century” functions like Instant Matching (a swipe function similar to Tinder) and the ability to engage in video chat.

The website’s got a modern, polished look that I appreciate, which pairs quite well with its long list of features. While they don’t have a lot of the complex compatibility functions seen on sites like Match.com or Christian Mingle, it’s still a great option for Christians looking for love.

Conclusion: Choose One Christian Dating Network And Take Action!

While I’m not into the Christian dating scene, if you are, you’ve now got plenty of options. I’ve provided you with more sites than you need and if you’re not into this niche either, then great, you can hang with me at the strip clubs yucking it up with all the call girls and meeting local chicks on Fling sites.

April 5, 2019

Goodbye My Hookup Partner, Hello New Me! What To Do Now…

hookup partner waving bye

We all know that breakups are difficult, and that doesn’t change much if it’s the end of something casual as opposed to the termination of a long-term situation. Just because your feelings aren’t as intense doesn’t mean that you still won’t get a case of the sads. And that makes sense, as it tends to be true that losing any strong connection with another individual is hard.

This can be exceptionally challenging to your self-worth, and crushing to your ego, but it’s important to pay attention to the positives and stay focused on yourself after any breakup -type situation.

The New Me gif

Credit: HBO Curb Your Enthusiasm

Things You Must Do After Calling It Quits With A Hookup Partner

Below, I’ve gotten into a few of the tactics I use to heal and move forward in the weeks and months after ending a romantic situation. Hopefully, they’ll help you during similar situations.

Head In For A Checkup (Yes, A Physical)

First things first, time to give your doctor a call and get the goods checked out. Being a casual partner means understanding the dangers associated with this lifestyle, and STDs are one of them. Being into this sort of dating means that you or your partner may have multiple partners at once, which means much greater chances of contracting something.

In 2019 we’re seeing outbreaks in communities that 50 years ago we wouldn’t have believed. Heck, even nursing homes are seeing an increased frequency of STDs. And since these issues are best handled quickly, the sooner you get in, the sooner you can get back to “getting down” without a care in the world!

waving bye to hookup partner

Maintain A Stoic Attitude

Look, everyone is going to kill a couple of packs of cigarettes and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s in the days following this sort of situation, and that’s perfectly acceptable as long as you don’t let them see you cry.

If you want my advice when your friends give you a shout to hang out, do it. Even if you’re still not feeling 100%, the distraction is a great way to keep yourself from obsessing over the past.

I know I’ve been in a few emotional predicaments where I spent hours at home alone with the blinds drawn, just trying to convince myself not to call a brand new ex and talk about my feelings. This is toxic. Accept your friend’s calls, go to the parties, and try to relax. And above all else, keep your mouth shut about the breakup.

Treat Yourself, Well Too!

No joke, I have females friends who, in times of true emotional tumult, will send themselves flowers. It seems crazy, I’ll be the first to admit it, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t work.

Another thing I’ve done is rearranged my living space post-breakups. By eliminating clutter and organizing things, you end up also doing a bit of mental housecleaning at the same time.

Whether you take yourself out for a beer, or mail a bouquet to your own home, just make sure you set some time aside for self-care.

Discover A New Passion

Honestly, this is one of the big ones as far as ways to keep your chin up. When I separated with an ex a few years back, my buddies all decided it was time for me to skateboard…at 32. But honestly, they were right, for more than one reason.

First, working your body to exhaustion with some form of exercise does wonders for depression. It honestly feels as if you can’t muster the energy to be sad, due to the sheer exhaustion you feel.

Secondly, I found out that I really enjoy the sport. Now it’s become a way to occupy my time and have fun experiences with my friends, which blows my mind, especially considering that it started as a desperate attempt to feel better after being dumped.

Don’t Take The Rebound

This is another biggie. Most folks want to run into the arms of some new companion as soon as they are alone again, and that’s a mistake.

It’s almost impossible to start a new relationship with a person if you’re dealing with residual feelings from your last situation. You’re not only pushing yourself into something new before you’ve taken time to heal, but you’re also pulling a new somebody into your mess.

Take a month or two, buy some new clothes, go about your business…it’s always better to have yourself sorted out before finding a new partner. I strongly suggest that you partake in some hookup gaming action or maybe the occasional one night stand, but nothing long-term. You need some time to breathe, trust me.

Social Media? It’s A Big No

Nowadays it’s really easy to continue watching someone’s life unfold after a breakup via Facebook or other social media sites. This can get especially painful if they’re the one who looks for a rebound and finds one. Next thing you know, their status has been changed to “Taken,” and you’re crying in the corner.

It should go without saying, but a healthy amount of distance is crucial during these moments. You don’t necessarily have to cut yourself off from them completely, but blocking their feed and maybe staying away from these sites altogether is what you’ll need to heal in peace.

Join The Gym Rats

I half mentioned exercise above, but this is more about self-image. Getting a gym membership (I splurge on Equinox) and working on a new summer body after a cold winter’s breakup can impact your self-esteem in a positive way.

Taking control of your image and health are always going to be great approaches to feeling better about the past especially if that hot lady on the treadmill keeps looking your way.

Adopt An Animal (But Think Hard About It First)

This is great for some people in times of stress and could be the best route for you after a relationship has ended.

One thing I should say is that not everyone is meant to be a pet owner, and sometimes it’s easy to get overly emotional and make a choice you’ll regret. Pets are awesome, just make sure it’s awesome for you NOW as opposed to later.

Feeling Better Yet?

If not, don’t be too worried. Emotions are a tricky business, and sometimes the best you can do is survive. Make sure to take care of yourself now, so that you’ll be ready for a new partner later.

If you need more ideas and things to do, such as vacationing with your guy friends or doing extra work to improve your life and overall lifestyle. Just stay busy and keep the ball moving in the right direction. Take yourself out for a nice steak and a martini with some blue cheese olives. Treat yourself right, now’s the time to do so!

Good luck and let me know if you have any questions!

April 4, 2019

Here’s What Hook Ups Mean To Us Men

Hook Ups

The hookup, 2019’s equivalent of a first date. The phrase gets thrown around an awful lot, but what does it mean to you? Time for me to share what I think it means to most guys out there. Take it from a single guy living in one of the best cities on earth, New York City!

I know a thing or two about hooking up and this should clear the air for the single women out there interested in what’s going through our brain and body.

hook ups meme

What Hook Ups Mean To Most Guys

Truthfully, the definition for a hookup isn’t easily pinned down. The term seems to mean something completely different to each new person who uses it, usually being tied to their experiences, as well as the opinions of those around them. For men, the phrase had tended to mean connecting physically with a woman, which could mean cuddling, making out, or full blown sex.

Guy Brains

It brings me great joy to give you ladies a bit of a peek behind the curtain regarding how men think, generally speaking. On any given day, we think about sex roughly 60% of the time.

The rest of it is taken up with survival and work. My point here is that a man is almost always going to have a tendency to connect any and every new thought immediately to “doing it.”

Throwing around a word like hookup around in the presence of your typical caveman-type will almost definitely arouse some feelings of desire.

First Steps

When you’re trying to hookup, the whole situation can fly by before you’ve even had a chance to understand the situation. Sometimes you can kill the mood before there even IS a mood, all but guaranteeing that you’ll be spending that night alone.

That being said, communication is key, and starting off with a mutually agreed upon understanding of that night’s expectations can be the difference between hooking up with a person…or hooking up with your hand.

Ground Rules

Honestly, this all comes down to how you explain yourself. For folks who like to know where they stand at all times, it can really be beneficial to be forthcoming with your wants and needs. If you’re just entering the online dating scene, it can be pretty scary out there…

However, if you’re someone who has been hitting the online hookup scene for a while, it might be easier for you to set ground rules within the first few messages, as opposed to later down the line.

What I suggest is just giving the people you talk to a simple breakdown. Say something like “I’m definitely looking for fun, but I need to make sure you understand a few things about me.”

Then, you can give them a simple breakdown of your wants, like ” I won’t do A, but I’ve positively been daydreaming about maybe trying B, as long as your OK with C.”

Ladies’ Perspectives

While as a male I’d like to think that the majority of us are down to Earth and respectful, the truth of the matter is that it’s a jungle out there. Stalkers and men with possession issues can pop up just about anywhere, which is why it’s crucial to keep your wits and common sense about you when entering into hookup situations.

Another thing you’ll definitely want to think about is just how much information you’re providing these strangers.

It can be incredibly enticing to receive attention from a potential mate, especially if you haven’t been on the scene a lot lately. But just because you’re anxious for physical connections doesn’t mean you should show them all your cards.

Make sure you select a public meeting place when having that first encounter, even if you’re intentions are to come back to yours. That extra hour of time will usually give you all the details you want to have before making a firm choice on someone.

Ask Them Everything

While this is somewhat related to my “Ground Rules,” this part of hooking up deserves its own sidebar.

Asking questions is incredibly important during situations like this, and you shouldn’t be afraid to probe as deeply as you see fit.

If they seem possessive, ask them about their exes. If they’re cheap, ask them about their home and social life. If they seem too aggressive for you, ask them what they want.

I am honestly always shocked at how many people forget that they’re allowed to be curious, and embracing that quality not only gives you a higher likelihood of a safe experience, but also can often enhance the conversation, and therefore improve the connection you’re making.

Have Fun (Please!)

Here’s a point that I don’t think women always think about when it comes to casual dating, and that’s how much fun it can be. These are exactly the types of situations that can boost your confidence and help you learn exactly what it is you like and don’t like.

Remember that this should be about you finding pleasure in the ways you like the best, not another excuse to sacrifice your needs because a man is looking to pay some attention to you.

Safety Tips

Something that a lot of my female friends do is send screencaps of their messages and exchanges to a trusted friend before meeting their date for that night, something I think is an absolute must when hooking up.

It also isn’t a terrible idea to carry something like pepper spray or a taser when entering these sort of situations. Unfortunately, almost all of us have that one friend who has escaped a close call while walking home from the bar. This added bit of protection can be exactly what you need to enter a potential hookup with confidence.

So, What’s It All Mean To Us Men?

I think it’s probably safe to say that hooking up provokes a relatively straightforward understanding in most males. A lot of us have been hooking up for years, and continue to make it our preferred dating method.

If you’re going to propose hooking up with a male friend in 2019, you should go into it knowing that they probably expect sex (I know that I’m about that life). If you don’t think that’s what you’d like, be loud and clear with what it means to you…’cause for us, it just sounds like a recipe for fun!

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