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Our modern-day hookup culture has come into being primarily thanks to how sexualized we are nowadays. The excitement we feel when we engage in late night romantic adventures allows us to engage in a lot of pleasures that most of us would only dream about. But hooking up also allows us to embrace our innermost wants without feeling judged or shamed for embracing the sides of physical attraction that are a bit off of the beaten path.

Nowadays, folks that embrace this sort of casual lifestyle are referred to as “sociosexually unrestricted” individuals. This movement contains people from just about every subculture and group out there, meaning that there’s a place for everything, and everything has its place, sexually speaking. Folks who grew up in the 60s can’t help but find some parallels between the rockin’ days of their time, and the modern sexual revolutions were in the midst of today.
Hopefully, this time around we’ll learn a bit more about what drives these urges in ourselves, and what makes us regularly seek out deep love and affection.

Signs That It’s Becoming More Than A Hookup (What To Look For)

Sex tends to be profoundly intimate for a lot of people, which is why it isn’t always that surprising to find out that your casual hookup may be getting some bonafide feels for you. As much as we’d like to kid ourselves, the truth is that the lines between lust and love can often get blurry, especially if you find a strong connection with your partner.

But, even though it’s obvious to a lot of us how and why this can start to happen, some of us remain blissfully unaware of the signs that show us this is happening. Below, I’ve outlined some behaviors and situations to pay attention to if you think your fling is starting to think you’re the “real thing.”

You Talk All The Time, About Everything

One of the first and most fundamental rules, when you’re hooking up with someone on the regular, is to leave before the morning can start. Some people think you should even go so far as to leave the same night, to avoid having the kind of interactions reserved for couples.

This can be a tricky situation to navigate, especially if you find yourself being the one who tries to linger a little while longer in the morning. This can lead to some serious self-doubt and confusion, which is why it’s wise to take a step back and consider the situation. Are you finding that your conversations naturally last longer and longer? Has the other person been guilty of hanging around more often than you’d expect?

These are healthy questions to ask yourself to avoid heartache. It’s entirely possible that part of the reason you’re feeling “real feelings” for them is that they’re sending the same vibes at you.

You Are Genuinely Concerned With Each-Other’s Lives

There’s a huge difference between showing a respectful level of interest in your hookup’s day-to-day events and having a legitimate investment in their lives and feelings.

A major sign of this is the sudden outpourings of emotional topics. Perhaps your casual hookup has just argued with her mother and decides that your the right person talk it over with. Or maybe you’ve just suddenly gotten into a car wreck, and find yourself pulling up their number to let them know what’s happened.

These aren’t the types of situations that get talked about when all you’re doing is sleeping with someone, and it’s a clear indicator that you care about each other.

Sometimes, You Don’t Even Sleep Together

This particular sign is about as obvious as it gets, and yet there are still people out there who don’t put the pieces together.

If you’re spending time with your casual fling doing things like having lunch, going to the movies, or having drinks, you should know that you’re going on dates, at least by the traditional definition.

Spending time interacting with someone socially that you also share a physical relationship with is dangerously close to dating, save for a few perceived responsibilities. Keep this in mind if you guys are having coffee a little too often.

You Are Really Into Each Other

This is slightly related to the last point but definitely takes the idea a step further. Showing nurturing behavior to a person that you’re sleeping with exposes a level of intimacy and feelings that go well beyond the physical, and will almost universally create a foundation of emotional interactions for you both to pull from.

When these signs start to show themselves, it’s time to make up your mind as to where your heart lies.

You Spend A Majority Of Your Time Together

A hookup is, by the textbook definition, casual and sporadic. That means that you’re going to be seeing your casual partner every now and again, without ever putting too fine of a point on it. This tends to be part of why keeping things casual is so enticing for people, as it doesn’t place substantial demands on their time. For others, it can also be fairly intimidating to be in a situation that for all intents and purposes will be “forever.”

The time spent together with a hookup is really the last dividing line between a casual encounter and a partner that you’re seriously dating. Investing more than a few hours of time into communications and interactions with your fling means that well…it’s not a fling anymore.

At The End Of The Day

The bottom line here is communication. Being candid and open about your intentions is crucial, not just to your partner’s well being, but also your own.

Human biology and sexual chemistry can be very, very confusing. Making sense of all the hormones and emotions being tossed around is never easy, but it’s smart to always keep on the lookout for these signs. It just may save you from a bit of heartache.

Did you know that a lot of women think about hooking up daily? Does that come as a shocker to you? If so, then I must say that you’re absolutely crazy. No, but seriously, women are just as hungry as men are today. In fact, I’ll go out on a limb and say that we’re almost all aware of what a hookup is, I’m sure.

It boils down to simply, a man and a woman, man and a man, woman and a woman, or some variation thereof get together and have some fun, sexually speaking. It can be as simple as a makeout session, or as insane as a group of six between the sheets for a night. Really, the term has a lot of so-called “wiggle room.”

But despite this general understanding, even Webster’s Dictionary is at a loss as to how to describe this common human behavior. The term tends to mean a lot of things to a lot of different people, and it’s possible even you’re confused by the term!

It tends to be true that most women have a hookup fantasy that they come into a casual situation with. They’ll absolutely have pictured how the date is going to go, and how your night together is going to play out. Sometimes the woman is picturing a series of near-romantic events; Other times, she’s a monster in the bedroom. For men, it can be difficult to know exactly what type of situation they’re heading into, so it’d be nice if they could get some warning about what to expect.

What A Hookup Means To Women (The Average Female)

During the average hookup encounter, things can move pretty quickly from the bar to the bedroom, so it can be easy to ruin things by being so overly concerned about concepts such as setting “the mood” that you end up talking way too much. That being said, it can be a huge benefit to put a few questions out there before you meet up, so you know both what you and she really expect from that evening’s events.

Sending The Right Message

While I hate to be so literal about it, this is absolutely the first and most crucial batch of steps to making sure your potential female partner knows what’s coming. Knowing the right types of thing to say can really enhance your encounter, so it’s wise to come into the situation prepared. Below, I’ve written out a few examples of statements that should work perfectly for something like this:

“Hey there. I know we’re just getting started, but I feel like there are a few personal preferences I have that I’d like to share before we really get into this.”

“So, what are some of your tastes, sexually speaking? Are there any particular moves or habits that you’re looking for in a partner?”

“I really like where things are going, and that’s why before we keep going, I’d like to find out what sort of kinks you might have?”

If she responds well to these introductory questions, embrace the moment and dig a little more deeply. The more you can come into a hookup situation with the right knowledge, the better the woman is going to find you to be.

Boundaries & Ground Rules

So, you’ve exchanged a bunch of texts, things are going well, and now the pair of you are toying with the idea of meeting up. What comes next?

No surprise here, it’s time for some more clear & honest communication! While you’ve hopefully at this point established a firm understanding of both what you & your partner want, you may not have covered the types of things you DON’T want. Perhaps you’re a fan of the rougher stuff, and she’s a gentle soul. Maybe she likes being tied up, and you’re just not comfortable with rope play.

In 2019, anyone can have a hidden list of fetishes that just don’t mesh with the person they’re seeing. For example, hitting dom sex clubs. Setting up some ground rules concerning what she does and does NOT like in the bedroom is important for several reasons, including the emotional well-being of both parties concerned.

During The Hookup

Hopefully, at this point, you’ve made time to meet up with your potential new partner. You’ve already set up ground rules, and you have a good idea of what she likes & doesn’t like. Now, you need to remember to have fun and relax. Meeting a new mate can be downright terrifying, so try to keep in mind that you and she are keeping things casual for a reason.

Self-Needs, Self Care

So, you’ve set the stage, you’ve sent the right signals, and you’ve successfully gotten yourself into a hookup situation. You’re having a great time, and things seem to be progressing just the way you’d like them to. So how do you maintain this new & preferred “status quo?” With a bit of regular self-maintenance, that’s how!

There are numerous ideas & techniques regarding self-care, but the main goal in any of these approaches is to continue enjoying the activities that brought you joy prior to meeting your partner.

Women tend to get a little frustrated by male dependence when they’re only looking for a fling, so keeping yourself occupied & independent is a great way to avoid falling into this trap. It also helps to keep your mind clear, which is important when trying to think about your situation objectively.

Knowing When To Leave

While plenty of women out there are perfectly happy to keep things casual, it’s important to keep an eye on the development of your partnership.

Knowing the signs that indicate when your hookup may be thinking about you a little too romantically can help you decide that it’s time to leave before things take a nasty turn. Emotions are a tricky thing, and when physical affection is thrown into the mix, you can lose control of the situation before you know it.

Putting It All Together

Really, this comes down to an optimistic attitude, and a little bit of caution. Usually, you can tell pretty quickly if the woman you’re interacting with is “down” with your personality, or if she’s just not going to be the best potential match for you.

Also, don’t be mistaken: women are making up their minds about you just as quickly as you are about them. Stay cool, calm, and collected, and remember that women are often looking for a good, safe bit of fun, just like you!