April 5, 2019

Goodbye My Hookup Partner, Hello New Me! What To Do Now…

hookup partner waving bye

We all know that breakups are difficult, and that doesn’t change much if it’s the end of something casual as opposed to the termination of a long-term situation. Just because your feelings aren’t as intense doesn’t mean that you still won’t get a case of the sads. And that makes sense, as it tends to be true that losing any strong connection with another individual is hard.

This can be exceptionally challenging to your self-worth, and crushing to your ego, but it’s important to pay attention to the positives and stay focused on yourself after any breakup -type situation.

The New Me gif

Credit: HBO Curb Your Enthusiasm

Things You Must Do After Calling It Quits With A Hookup Partner

Below, I’ve gotten into a few of the tactics I use to heal and move forward in the weeks and months after ending a romantic situation. Hopefully, they’ll help you during similar situations.

Head In For A Checkup (Yes, A Physical)

First things first, time to give your doctor a call and get the goods checked out. Being a casual partner means understanding the dangers associated with this lifestyle, and STDs are one of them. Being into this sort of dating means that you or your partner may have multiple partners at once, which means much greater chances of contracting something.

In 2019 we’re seeing outbreaks in communities that 50 years ago we wouldn’t have believed. Heck, even nursing homes are seeing an increased frequency of STDs. And since these issues are best handled quickly, the sooner you get in, the sooner you can get back to “getting down” without a care in the world!

waving bye to hookup partner

Maintain A Stoic Attitude

Look, everyone is going to kill a couple of packs of cigarettes and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s in the days following this sort of situation, and that’s perfectly acceptable as long as you don’t let them see you cry.

If you want my advice when your friends give you a shout to hang out, do it. Even if you’re still not feeling 100%, the distraction is a great way to keep yourself from obsessing over the past.

I know I’ve been in a few emotional predicaments where I spent hours at home alone with the blinds drawn, just trying to convince myself not to call a brand new ex and talk about my feelings. This is toxic. Accept your friend’s calls, go to the parties, and try to relax. And above all else, keep your mouth shut about the breakup.

Treat Yourself, Well Too!

No joke, I have females friends who, in times of true emotional tumult, will send themselves flowers. It seems crazy, I’ll be the first to admit it, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t work.

Another thing I’ve done is rearranged my living space post-breakups. By eliminating clutter and organizing things, you end up also doing a bit of mental housecleaning at the same time.

Whether you take yourself out for a beer, or mail a bouquet to your own home, just make sure you set some time aside for self-care.

Discover A New Passion

Honestly, this is one of the big ones as far as ways to keep your chin up. When I separated with an ex a few years back, my buddies all decided it was time for me to skateboard…at 32. But honestly, they were right, for more than one reason.

First, working your body to exhaustion with some form of exercise does wonders for depression. It honestly feels as if you can’t muster the energy to be sad, due to the sheer exhaustion you feel.

Secondly, I found out that I really enjoy the sport. Now it’s become a way to occupy my time and have fun experiences with my friends, which blows my mind, especially considering that it started as a desperate attempt to feel better after being dumped.

Don’t Take The Rebound

This is another biggie. Most folks want to run into the arms of some new companion as soon as they are alone again, and that’s a mistake.

It’s almost impossible to start a new relationship with a person if you’re dealing with residual feelings from your last situation. You’re not only pushing yourself into something new before you’ve taken time to heal, but you’re also pulling a new somebody into your mess.

Take a month or two, buy some new clothes, go about your business…it’s always better to have yourself sorted out before finding a new partner. I strongly suggest that you partake in some hookup gaming action or maybe the occasional one night stand, but nothing long-term. You need some time to breathe, trust me.

Social Media? It’s A Big No

Nowadays it’s really easy to continue watching someone’s life unfold after a breakup via Facebook or other social media sites. This can get especially painful if they’re the one who looks for a rebound and finds one. Next thing you know, their status has been changed to “Taken,” and you’re crying in the corner.

It should go without saying, but a healthy amount of distance is crucial during these moments. You don’t necessarily have to cut yourself off from them completely, but blocking their feed and maybe staying away from these sites altogether is what you’ll need to heal in peace.

Join The Gym Rats

I half mentioned exercise above, but this is more about self-image. Getting a gym membership (I splurge on Equinox) and working on a new summer body after a cold winter’s breakup can impact your self-esteem in a positive way.

Taking control of your image and health are always going to be great approaches to feeling better about the past especially if that hot lady on the treadmill keeps looking your way.

Adopt An Animal (But Think Hard About It First)

This is great for some people in times of stress and could be the best route for you after a relationship has ended.

One thing I should say is that not everyone is meant to be a pet owner, and sometimes it’s easy to get overly emotional and make a choice you’ll regret. Pets are awesome, just make sure it’s awesome for you NOW as opposed to later.

Feeling Better Yet?

If not, don’t be too worried. Emotions are a tricky business, and sometimes the best you can do is survive. Make sure to take care of yourself now, so that you’ll be ready for a new partner later.

If you need more ideas and things to do, such as vacationing with your guy friends or doing extra work to improve your life and overall lifestyle. Just stay busy and keep the ball moving in the right direction. Take yourself out for a nice steak and a martini with some blue cheese olives. Treat yourself right, now’s the time to do so!

Good luck and let me know if you have any questions!

Goodbye My Hookup Partner, Hello New Me! What To Do Now…
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Frankie Moretti

Frankie Moretti is an Italian investment banker who's a go-getter with an eye for staying ahead of trends. He's a sucker for hot women, data, fine wine and likes to take things to the extreme in all aspects of life. His motto is, "Life is like the Stock Market indices, make the right moves and you'll see more peaks!"

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