The notorious “hook up.” You know what the word means, but what kinds of things does it provoke in your mind? Do you think of late-night trysts with a newly discovered partner? Or perhaps for you, it’s just about of heavy petting and late night couch marathons…or maybe for you, it just means hitting the club and finding a dance partner!
I have to share this image again because it’s so damn funny!
My Definition Of A “Hook Up” (And More)
For me, a hookup is almost a universal term for meeting up with someone, even if it isn’t romantic. The popular website Urban Dictionary tends to agree with my perspective, with the phrase “hook up” meaning something different to pretty much everyone. I mean heck, it probably even meant something different for you now than it did when you were younger.
From what I’ve learned over the years, women have their own set of hookup fantasies that are far more detailed than the average man. They’ll often be picturing an entire evening, with things like dinner and drinks setting the tone for a quasi-romantic experience, even when they’re really only looking for a physical connection. These fantasies can run the gamut from tame to out of control sex fests, but a woman will hardly ever let you know which one it is.
Seeing as you and I aren’t superheroes with psychic powers, how in the world are we supposed to find out?
Setting The Pace
Making a hookup connection can happen at lightning speed, especially if you’re making the connection at a bar or through a mobile dating app like the Fling app or the Insta Bang app. The problem that most commonly arises in these situations is tied to the situation mentioned above: knowing what your date wants from you.
So, what measures can you take to guarantee that the tone is understood before you even meet up? Ask them these questions beforehand! A few short questions like,
“Hi there, I like to keep things simple from the start, so I’d love to know what you’re looking for. I very much am looking for an evening of fun, nothing more.”
Statements like this, along with other clarifications can really make your hookup experience smoother. Getting a clear understanding of the type of date situation you’re walking into makes an experience like this a lot more enjoyable. You can also throw in some flirty statements via text before she arrives if you’re really trying to get the “train out of the station,” so to speak.
Something I should mention here is, while it’s a great approach to be the one pushing the conversation forward, don’t forget to ask her questions more specific to her. Those smoking hot Instagram babe anomalies might not care about a Q and A session, but most women do. This will give them the impression that you’re actually interested, and hopefully make the experience a lot more fun and comfortable.
Having Your Needs Met
Another thing I like to remember to tell young studs on the market is to be clear about what you need. I understand that I may be repeating myself here, but you can never be too clear about your needs and intentions.
In 2019, a lot of individuals feel empowered in their particular “kink” or proclivities, so it makes sense to be as honest as possible.
If you’re not getting what you need as far as details via texting through an app, my favorite approach is asking for their number and calling them up! I know, it’s often a shot in the dark, but when it works, it normally leads to sex.
Listening to someone’s voice is almost always a great way to gauge their thoughts during your conversation, as it adds a level of nuance you just don’t get from typing. It also helps avoid getting scammed by people who are answering your questions pretty much directly from Internet search engines.
Remember, Safety Comes First
So, you’ve made your connection, you’ve settled on a location, you’ve gotten all dressed up, and now it’s time to finally meet your hopeful new connection.
Hopefully, you’ve both agreed on a public location for your first encounter. If not, consider changing your plans. While most women I’ve found on these apps are pretty laid back, you never know when you might meet a “stage 5 clinger” who now not only has your name and phone number, but also your home address. Avoid the threat of stalking, and keep some things to yourself.
The First Few Minutes (Are Crucial)
This period is insanely crucial. Most psychologists agree that both men and women decide what they think of someone in the first 60-90 seconds. They’re taking in things like body language, facial features, body, and even things as nuanced as the sound of your voice.
What helped me get past this particular hurdle was mirror training. It may seem vain, but checking out how you look at different angles and facial expressions can almost single-handedly make or break a date.
Do the homework.
The First Hour Into It
Humor and confidence are the names of the game here. Between the first ten minutes and the first hour, your potential partner for the evening will be making a list in her mind, a list of reasons and observations that will decide how far she takes things with you tonight.
Also, remember not to sell yourself short. Something I’ve become pretty good at is gassing myself up before a date. It’s alright to be convinced that your time is valuable and that you’re doing this person a favor by sharing some of it with them. This added “laissez faire” attitude will do wonders for how she perceives your confidence, which will only help seal the deal.
At The End Of The Night (Can You Close The Deal?)
So, what exactly should you take away from this particular piece of writing? Well, for starters, don’t take any of this too seriously. Dating can oftentimes require a lot of trial and error, and you may not have a lot of luck your first few times out.
The good news is that I’ve done a lot of “searching” so you don’t have to. You’ll have more hook up luck if you go right for a sex network here.
It’s also entirely possible that you’re just a bit of a singular individual, and it’s going to take you a little bit longer to find someone compatible, something that shouldn’t ever bother you.
But, if you follow the logical steps, and keep an open mind, it’s pretty likely that sooner or later you’ll become a hookup pro. Don’t you think it’s about time you gave hooking up a shot?
Especially if you’re not getting lucky at all lately. The choice is yours my friend!