I’ve seen some extremely weird stuff over the years. When it comes to dating, nothing surprises me today. I’m not joking, literally nothing at all surprises me. Even the weirdest dating sites in the world don’t shock me. The thing that does though is that people out there actually join them. You’re never going to hook up on these sites and if you do, bless you. Do yourself a solid and read this list, understand what they are and kick yourself square in the dick if you even think about joining them. I’d rather you hire some hooker or tug it thinking about banging your hot school teacher. Trust me, anything is better than actually registering on these sites.

9 Weird Dating Sites That You Should Never Join

These sites are as weird as it gets and if you’re a member of any of them, I hope to god no one knows! Check out these beauties…

Clown Dating

This site is called clowndating.com and it creeps me the heck out. People have unhealthy obsessions with clowns and it scares the living shit out of me. If you’re that much into clowns, then you need to watch the movie Devils Rejects by Rob Zombie, you won’t like them after that. I can’t think of anything worse than having sex with some girl dressed up as a clown. It makes me soft just thinking about it.

Singles With Food Allergies

You people and your food allergies are ruining this world. This looks more like the bad start of a cult versus anything else. Aside from the site looking like a piece of crap, I think that dating someone because you’re allergic to the same foods is crazy. Look at the couples on the cover page of the site, they look weirder than my Uncle Jerry and he’s a strange cat. Do you know what the couple cooking on the homepage says to me? Hey, we are really boring and can only eat egg whites or we’ll die. This is awesome we met, we’re cooking! Doesn’t get more bullshit than that.

Diaper Mates

Awesome! Let’s each take dumps in our diapers and change on another. Hey, maybe we’ll use extra baby powder this time. The scary part is that this site has 42,000 members according to the site. Yes, you read that right! If you’re looking for a diaper mate then don’t call me. I’ll call the cops on your sick ass you freak!

Hot Sauce Passions

Do you prefer to sweat profusely while trying to eat that reaper pepper with extra cheese on your nachos? If so, then you’re gross but good news for you, there’s light at the end of the tunnel to feed your hot sauce addiction. Hotsaucepassions.com is all about connecting you with other hot sauce lovers. Good luck fighting for the bathroom with all that diarrhea, just saying.

DateMyPet

The premise behind this site is self-explanatory. You date someone because you like their pet, simple as that. If you ask me, pets are a pain in the ass in general. I’d prefer if my hook up partner didn’t have pets. It would make my life a lot easier and better odds that I won’t step in a steaming pile of dog shit. This site screams something simple to me, you should definitely date me and my pet because without my pet I totally suck!

Sexy Feet Dating

This one sounds like a real toe jammin’ time! The what ifs here are incredible. What if their feet stink? What if they’re sporting a crazy hammer toe? Don’t even get me started on women with hairy toes. I think I’m going to vomit, that’s enough of that.

Inmate Mingle

Perhaps the sketchiest of them all is the Inmate Mingle website. If you’re looking to help someone smuggle heroin into jail or perhaps hits of acid and be responsible for filling someone convicts canteen then this is perfect for you. Nothing like stereotyping with the black couple on the homepage. Good job! LOL

Fat Bastard Dating

Who doesn’t love a site dedicated to fat bastards? I know some people are into BBW girls and I’m not knocking those that are. All I’m saying is that the conversation gets weird soon as you mention being a fat bastard member. Fair enough? That hairy guy wearing gold chains is a disgrace to all men. What a slob and a half.

Gothic Match

Not your average Match.com I guess. Seriously, this reminds me of every trench coat wearing psychopath that I went to high school with. If you’re looking to get stabs in the neck with a sword, then this network might be the one for you I guess. If you’re looking for real dating sites that actually work and don’t creep millions of people out, check out this one here.