Monthly Archives: May 2019
Monthly Archives: May 2019
Our modern-day hookup culture has come into being primarily thanks to how sexualized we are nowadays. The excitement we feel when we engage in late night romantic adventures allows us to engage in a lot of pleasures that most of us would only dream about. But hooking up also allows us to embrace our innermost wants without feeling judged or shamed for embracing the sides of physical attraction that are a bit off of the beaten path.
Nowadays, folks that embrace this sort of casual lifestyle are referred to as “sociosexually unrestricted” individuals. This movement contains people from just about every subculture and group out there, meaning that there’s a place for everything, and everything has its place, sexually speaking. Folks who grew up in the 60s can’t help but find some parallels between the rockin’ days of their time, and the modern sexual revolutions were in the midst of today.
Hopefully, this time around we’ll learn a bit more about what drives these urges in ourselves, and what makes us regularly seek out deep love and affection.
Sex tends to be profoundly intimate for a lot of people, which is why it isn’t always that surprising to find out that your casual hookup may be getting some bonafide feels for you. As much as we’d like to kid ourselves, the truth is that the lines between lust and love can often get blurry, especially if you find a strong connection with your partner.
But, even though it’s obvious to a lot of us how and why this can start to happen, some of us remain blissfully unaware of the signs that show us this is happening. Below, I’ve outlined some behaviors and situations to pay attention to if you think your fling is starting to think you’re the “real thing.”
One of the first and most fundamental rules, when you’re hooking up with someone on the regular, is to leave before the morning can start. Some people think you should even go so far as to leave the same night, to avoid having the kind of interactions reserved for couples.
This can be a tricky situation to navigate, especially if you find yourself being the one who tries to linger a little while longer in the morning. This can lead to some serious self-doubt and confusion, which is why it’s wise to take a step back and consider the situation. Are you finding that your conversations naturally last longer and longer? Has the other person been guilty of hanging around more often than you’d expect?
These are healthy questions to ask yourself to avoid heartache. It’s entirely possible that part of the reason you’re feeling “real feelings” for them is that they’re sending the same vibes at you.
There’s a huge difference between showing a respectful level of interest in your hookup’s day-to-day events and having a legitimate investment in their lives and feelings.
A major sign of this is the sudden outpourings of emotional topics. Perhaps your casual hookup has just argued with her mother and decides that your the right person talk it over with. Or maybe you’ve just suddenly gotten into a car wreck, and find yourself pulling up their number to let them know what’s happened.
These aren’t the types of situations that get talked about when all you’re doing is sleeping with someone, and it’s a clear indicator that you care about each other.
This particular sign is about as obvious as it gets, and yet there are still people out there who don’t put the pieces together.
If you’re spending time with your casual fling doing things like having lunch, going to the movies, or having drinks, you should know that you’re going on dates, at least by the traditional definition.
Spending time interacting with someone socially that you also share a physical relationship with is dangerously close to dating, save for a few perceived responsibilities. Keep this in mind if you guys are having coffee a little too often.
This is slightly related to the last point but definitely takes the idea a step further. Showing nurturing behavior to a person that you’re sleeping with exposes a level of intimacy and feelings that go well beyond the physical, and will almost universally create a foundation of emotional interactions for you both to pull from.
When these signs start to show themselves, it’s time to make up your mind as to where your heart lies.
A hookup is, by the textbook definition, casual and sporadic. That means that you’re going to be seeing your casual partner every now and again, without ever putting too fine of a point on it. This tends to be part of why keeping things casual is so enticing for people, as it doesn’t place substantial demands on their time. For others, it can also be fairly intimidating to be in a situation that for all intents and purposes will be “forever.”
The time spent together with a hookup is really the last dividing line between a casual encounter and a partner that you’re seriously dating. Investing more than a few hours of time into communications and interactions with your fling means that well…it’s not a fling anymore.
The bottom line here is communication. Being candid and open about your intentions is crucial, not just to your partner’s well being, but also your own.
Human biology and sexual chemistry can be very, very confusing. Making sense of all the hormones and emotions being tossed around is never easy, but it’s smart to always keep on the lookout for these signs. It just may save you from a bit of heartache.
The mobile app Tinder tends to be a fantastic way for individuals to meet locally for dating and short-term enjoyment. They’ve also expanded their offerings more recently to include Plus & Gold services, both of which allow you to meet people long distance, as well as locally.
As an app, Tinder has been steadily gaining popularity in the dating markets for years, and as it grows the buzz around it only intensifies. For a lot of folks, the transformation of the modern dating scene into something almost completely digital was almost unimaginable only ten or fifteen years ago. If you’re this sort of person, you should most definitely check out the online guides available on using the app as well as you can.
When you’re familiar with how to use Tinder, it’s a wonderful experience. The app allows you to sit in the comfort of your own home and browse for matches, as opposed to going to your local bar and trying to pick someone up. Tinder was the first to popularize the “swipe” that has become fairly ubiquitous within mobile dating apps. This works pretty simply, swiping your finger across the screen in either direction to indicate whether you’re interested in someone or not. If you’ve been selected by the individual you swipe right for, you’ll be matched and can start chatting immediately.
So, this is all pretty fun & functional, but what happens when swiping just becomes a little too commonplace? Well, remember when I mentioned the Plus and Gold memberships briefly above? This is where those added features become valuable, as they can really spice up your base level Tinder experience. Below, I’m going to cover a specific bonus feature offered by Tinder, called the “Super Like.”
So, boiled down to the simplest explanation, a super like is basically an extra signal to the other person that you’re very, very interested in them. Here’s how it works; Normally, when you swipe right on an individual, they won’t be notified unless they’ve swiped right on you as well. But when you make the extra step to super like a person, they’ll be notified immediately that you’ve… give them a wave, so to speak.
Tinder first released this feature in 2015, and it almost immediately created a buzz within the community. It definitely gives individuals a fighting chance to match with individuals that normally would pass a lot of people over due to the sheer number of matches they receive.
So, how do you super like someone? It’s actually pretty easy. Typically when you’re using the app (as well as other apps) you have to swipe either left or right, however when you find someone worth a super like, you’ll have to swipe upwards. There’s also a star icon sandwiched between the like and dislike buttons at the bottom of the screen which will perform the same action as a swipe upwards.
Sometimes it can be hard to decide whether or not to use a super like because different people perceive them in different ways. A person might get really excited that an individual is so over the top interested in them. But for every one of these kinds of folks, there are others who will wonder why you’re so needy that you needed to use a special feature to try and grab their attention. These sorts of thoughts on their side of the situation can sometimes even bleed over into the conversations that occur once you’ve met.
There’s also a third contingent of people that just think the whole super like function is a complete waste of time, in that it nullifies the matching function that the app was initially designed to have.
While all of these perspectives have their merits, at the end of the day just follow your gut and do what feels right at the moment. Or, if you’re the third type of individuals here…just don’t use the feature!
So, the first step to being able to see your super likes is by having your Tinder notifications set to “On,” after which you’ll be alerted to any super likes. Keep in mind that if you’ve only got a free Tinder profile (as opposed to the Gold or Plus profiles), you won’t be able to see who it was that super liked you until the two of you actually match. Some people actually prefer the basic, free profile as they enjoy the excitement that surrounds a super like without a face to go along with it.
If you’re a Plus or Gold member, you can tap on the initial super like notification from your phone to get you into the app. From there, you’ll swipe through a few standard profile cards before you come across a card outlined in blue. This will be the signal that you’re looking at your “super like” admirer. You’ll also notice a blue star icon displayed on their profile.
If you’re like a lot of other people, you don’t like to be bothered by phone notifications, which is why you may have your Tinder alerts turned off. This could be concerning for you, as you might be thinking, “What if I miss when an individual decides to Super Like my profile? Am I just out of luck?”
The answer is, not in the slightest! The only difference here is that you may have to swipe through a few additional profile cards before landing on your super like, as they’ll have been “shuffled” back into the “deck.”
Either way, you’ll be able to check out your super like with just a few swipes. You’ll also be able to see all of the super likes that you’ve matched with by looking at your list of total matches. Here, they’ll also be outlined in blue and have a blue star icon.
The Tinder Super Like can be a powerful tool to help you find that perfect match, as long as you use it wisely. Individuals are only given a single Super Like per day, so you’ll want to be pretty sure that the person you’re looking at is worth the risk.
My advice? Download the app, upgrade your membership, and jump into one of the single biggest dating pools of the decade. If you’re into more risque stuff, then you’ll want to give this site here a shot instead.