Monthly Archives: April 2019
Monthly Archives: April 2019
Nowadays, trying to find your perfect, end-all-be-all soulmate is almost old-fashioned. Gone are the days where we over-romanticize the perils and pitfalls of our dating lives. That’s why eHarmony is so great, as it brings with it a fantastic list of questions meant to let you know people a little better, before ever reaching out. There are a ton of dating apps on the market that charge its users a pretty hefty fee, which makes the whole process a little more difficult for some folks to get interested in using. eHarmony avoids all that by letting its users sign up for a completely free trial account, allowing you to save your dollars until you’re convinced that the full, paid site is a good bet. If you do decide to pay for the full version of eHarmony, there are a bunch of great features that get unlocked. However, even during your trial, you’ll be able to browse new user profiles, message a few people, and generally “get your feet wet.”
eHarmony gives you just a total of three days to make up your mind about their site, so it’s important to use it a lot while you’re enjoying your trial. While not everyone is going to find this period of time to be optimal, in my opinion, it’s more than enough time to find out if this site is right for you. What I’d recommend is setting up your profile on a Friday afternoon, which will let you check the site out all weekend long, thus improving your chances of finding a match or date before time runs out, and you’re forced to crack open your wallet.
The point above is also important because of eHarmony’s specialized “Guided communication,” which is specifically designed to help you start conversations. If you’re going to try this software out, you might as well do it during some of their busiest days, right?
Throughout these seventy hours, if you make the call that this app just isn’t the right fit for your lifestyle, the cancellation process couldn’t be easier. Just take care to keep track of your signup and deadline times, as even an hour or two over the line will result in a month’s worth of charges.
Setting up your initial profile is probably going to take a few minutes, so don’t get discouraged if you feel like it’s taking too long to get started. You’re going to want to fill out and answer all the questions they throw at you, including payment information for the trial plan. Make sure you go through your profile set up before you hit the payment options, as it’ll give you a little extra time to browse profiles for free instead of spending the first few moments of your free trial setting up a member profile.
Now that you’ve solidified your free trial, it’s time to start checking out profiles that have been suggested for you. Remember, eHarmony doesn’t suggest that you browse random profiles. Instead, they’ll provide you with their best ideas for your match based on the questions you’ve already answered. As you start to look around, you’ll probably notice that viewing images in your matched profiles isn’t possible during your trial, unless you couch up a few extra dollars.
Instead of this, I’ve found a few ways to (at least temporarily) use these added features for free.
1) Free Communication Weekends
So alerts for these promotional weekends can be found on the registration page of eHarmony. While they typically only happen once or twice a month, it’s wise to keep on the lookout for these deals. If you wait to sign up until a Free Communication Weekend, you’ll have from Friday through Sunday to use the full-featured eHarmony site, at no additional cost!
2) Promo Codes
The second option for people who really want to save their money while still checking out the eHarmony dating site is to find some sort of promotional code through a third-party site. These codes will typically be in the form of either a free month’s subscription or a percentage off of your first month’s membership fees. Either way, websites like this tend to release promo codes pretty often, so keep a lookout for these sorts of bargains!
If you’re looking for something more risque and forward, then you might want to check out these sites here. You can find promo codes and free offers for those as well.
So, as I half-mentioned above, you will be required to enter payment information while registering for your free trial. What I didn’t mention is that this payment info will be used to take a refundable payment of $40 from your account. This tends to be off-putting for some, as just forgetting to log in and cancel a few hours too late could cost you a hefty chunk of money for a product you’ve decided not to purchase.
My advice here is to make a simple reminder, either on your calendar or phone. If you’re mature enough to be looking for a significant other, you’re probably responsible enough to keep track of when to cancel.
I can think of a plethora of reasons to try out eHarmony, even if only for a few days. Honestly, the matching algorithm by itself is interesting to try out, even if it’s just to get your daily match notifications and see if eHarmony has a handle on what you like. The site even provides a free profile analysis that you’re can take with you if you decide to opt out of a full membership.
Keep in mind, eHarmony has a rigid structure that isn’t for everyone. The questionnaires are fixed, and users aren’t able to add “quirky” person facts that they may find relevant. The $40 charge upfront is a sticking point as well. There’s also the frustration of not being able to share certain personal details or messages before you’ve upgraded. However, even with these few negative points, I’d still recommend giving a free trial a shot – click here. You just may find that their app is perfect for you! If not, there are plenty of other apps out there to tinker with, trust me!
Regardless of the type of sex and affection you enjoy, you no doubt enjoy yourself when you engage in it. While a random, one-night hookup can be a lot of fun, it’s also great to enjoy a casual, consistent hookup. These kinds of connections are often called “friends with benefits,” and can really be an enjoyable situation.
Regardless of how you personally enjoy sex, we can pretty much all agree that sex is fun. For the younger generations, this more and more seems to be casual sex without long-term commitments (which commonly result in no sex). If you’re an individual who falls into this category, it can be challenging to maintain these casual relationships, which is why it’s so important to understand how the whole thing is supposed to work.
So, just like a long term relationship, a casual sexual relationship needs a set of ground rules. Without these self-imposed boundaries, folks who are just getting used to seeing someone casually can get mixed up about what expectations might exist. Below, I outline some of the most important guidelines for maintaining a casual relationship.
Honesty typically tends to be the best policy if you want to keep your casual relationship healthy and consistent. Due to the lack of typical obligations, casual relationships often require a high degree of honesty and communication. Without this, your partner may fall prey to feelings of isolation or insecurity, because they perceive themselves as being victimized in some way.
Luckily, this set of potential problems is pretty easy to avoid, thanks to the more untraditional nature of the relationship. You can & should feel free to “think outside the box” when trying to come to a mutually agreed upon set of boundaries. And don’t forget that you’ve always got the ability to walk away from a casual relationship if your partner isn’t willing to provide you with the things you need.
While communication is key in a casual relationship, focusing on emotions too much can end up ruining things for both parties. Emotions aren’t usually the focus for casual connections, as the whole point of staying casual is to keep things simple, and free of romantic “debris.”
In short, if you’re determined to keep things casual and “off the cuff,” remember that emotions can be the true enemy, save for passion. This is supposed to be about sex, first and foremost.
If you find that you’re the one in the relationship which seems to be “catching feelings,” remember that opening up about this new emotions can adversely affect things between you and your partner, sometimes even leading to conflict. If you’re coming to an emotional place where you aren’t satisfied, it might be time to cut ties and look for something more serious with an individual who wants what you want.
A key component to keeping your feelings under control (and out of your hookups) is to stay removed from your casual partner’s life. Try to keep clear of their social media, as this can often be a window into behaviors and situations that you just don’t want.
When interacting in person or on the phone, it’s best to keep things light. If they’re looking to share facts about themselves with you, that’s fine, as long as you’re comfortable with this level of closeness. But try to remember that any added depth regarding your relationship with this person can be a quick road towards developing romantic feelings, something you should always be trying to avoid.
if you’re unsure about where the boundaries are regarding healthy distance in a sexual relationship, it’s always best to just ask.
This guideline seems almost petty, but it’s pretty important. Dates are reserved for couples who are looking to share social and romantic intimacy, not for folks who just love hooking up with each other. The whole point of planning these types of events is to foster closeness, something that you should be actively trying to avoid.
Bottom line: Don’t reserve that table for two at your local Italian eatery unless you’re trying to push the relationship into “long term” territory.
In 2019, texting is the preferred method of communication for a lot of us, but it can be used to your detriment if you aren’t careful.
When you’re excited about a new sexual partner, you may find that you’re driven to message them often, which may push them away. If your brand new “friend with benefits” is really just looking to keep things centered around your physical relationship, a slew of messages about your thoughts and feelings is the opposite of what they want.
It’s always fun to be excited about a new sexual partner, but make sure you aren’t blinded by the excitement, as it could lead to shooting yourself in the foot, romantically.
Casual daters can never be too aware of your casual partner’s needs and boundaries, and paying them the respect that they deserve can help maintain a healthy connection for both of you. This can be regarding sexual proclivities, frequency in communication, and anything in-between.
Just because the relationship is casual and based on physicality doesn’t mean that you need to treat the person as if they’re a possession. Maintain a respectful discourse at all times, and you’ll find that the relationship almost maintains itself.
This last one is something I’ve unfortunately had the experience of dealing with, and it directly related to my previous point.
If you’re only ever contacting your sexual partner when you’ve had a bit too much to drink, you’re showing them the opposite of respect. This is all too common, especially for younger folks in college, and it can really mess with a person’s self-worth. How would you feel if you only ever felt “desired” when your partner was blackout drunk? I guess it could be worse, it could be the crazy JetBlue lady I wrote about, lol.
To be completely honest, this all boils down to thinking critically about your relationships and your conduct. It’s pretty easy to maintain a casual relationship, provided you and your partner stay open and honest about your wants and expectations.
Stay aware, remember to have fun, and give casual dating a shot. You may find that it’s exactly the type of situation you’ve been searching for!
Hey, if all else fails and you don’t see things working out the way they should, then just tell your “hookup partner” goodbye for good!
If you’re looking to have a threesome then this article will help you out. I’m covering the hardest part of making this whole thing happen, the invitation. By the time you finish reading this article, you should have a grasp on things and totally understand what you need to do to secure a threesome with you and two other people.
It’s become pretty clear in modern times that couples are becoming increasingly interested in bringing a third person into their bedroom activities, something that people commonly refer to as “opening up” their married lives. Without a doubt, these married couples have positive motivations for engaging in this behavior, as modern science has suggested that as humans, we’re “always looking” to engage with multiple partners.
Professionals would tell us that this urge to be with multiple partners is completely natural (although some data suggested that men have a larger propensity for “wandering”). And as a male, I can certainly confirm that this tends to be a fantasy for us at some time in our lives.
That being said, women can just as readily get excited by the prospect of a new lover in the bedroom, or perhaps two or three! The reasons behind this can vary immensely, with some people simply just being excited by watching their partner with someone else.
And these types of behaviors aren’t uncommon when you think about the sheer number of times a friend has mentioned “experimenting” in college. It’s a typical human instinct, wanting to explore your sexuality, and this is something that would naturally follow individuals into their marriages.
So, you’re in a successful and happy marriage, but you and your partner have decided to spice it up a little. Where do you go from here?
Before a couple can even get started in the world of polyamory, it’s vital that they maintain open and honest lines of communication. It makes complete sense to want to get down to the real motivations behind your partner’s interest in bringing someone new into the bedroom, as you can avoid any unwanted emotional “pitfalls” later on.
Communication is also important with the potential third individual you’re inviting into your lives. It’s smart to remember that these people also have their own set of emotions, expectations, and tastes. The clearer you are with them from the start, the better the situation will be.
If you and your partner can navigate this all-important component of bringing a third party into your bedroom, you may find that it brings you and your partner closer together than you had ever thought possible.
In this same vein, there are some ground rules that couples should stick to if they’ve mutually decided that it’s time to “open things up.”
If you are focused on being able to have an open (and honest) marriage, you’ll have to open up every facet of your feelings to your partner, especially regarding your romantic feelings.
Picture how you would feel if your partner asked you to just blindly follow your wants, instead of having a series of conversations about it. Without a thoughtful and planned approach, tensions can sometimes run high regarding an open relationship.
Jealousy can be extremely toxic in everyday “vanilla” relationships, so navigating these waters can be even trickier with multiple partners. At the end of the day, everyone concerned needs to feel secure and comfortable with the new interactions that come along with threesomes and open relationships, so keeping yourself honest about where you’re at emotionally, while also making an effort to communicate with your partner (or partners) is the first key to making the whole thing work. You wouldn’t want to inadvertently get stuck between two jealous partners, both of whom feel possessive over you.
For quite a few married couples, approaching the subject of a threesome can elicit feelings of infidelity, even if both parties are into the idea. Often, couples will wonder if engaging in a threesome will mean that they’re no longer faithful to each other.
if you’ve stayed open and honest with each other about this whole process, but are still getting bothered by these intrusive thoughts, it helps to remember what this is all about: fun.
Inviting another partner into the bedroom is supposed to be a pleasurable and enjoyable experience. In essence, you and your spouse are looking to bring a sense of fun and excitement into your physical relationship. You’re almost throwing yourselves a celebratory party regarding your shared sexuality. Remember, threesomes and open marriages are about embracing your true selves while having a blast in the process.
A wonderful “bonus” of sharing you & your partner’s sex lives with others is that you may learn some new tricks. Perhaps there’s a move that your partner has always yearned for, but you never knew how to do it (or even that they wanted it). Sometimes your new sexual partner can inadvertently unlock these doors, opening up a brand new world regarding pleasuring your partner.
Marriages can often fall into a sense of monotony and routine, & taking your sex lives up a notch or two with an additional partner is a great way to combat this pitfall. This leads to my final point.
Even for couples who don’t feel trapped by the mundane day-to-day grind a marriage can sometimes create, there’s still the decent chance that you’ll sometimes get bored with your partner. Seeing the same person every day can naturally have this effect, even if you think the world of your spouse.
Seeing your partner engage with anymore man or woman can sometimes completely change the light that you see them in. Many articles regarding the effects of threesomes on couples have stated this very fact, with both husbands and wives noticing an increased “wanting” for their significant other after seeing them in a new way.
A marriage is a lot like a home, in that you may occasionally want to redecorate or remodel.
Bringing changes into a committed partnership can be scary, and that goes double if it’s centered around your sexual life. But the evidence seems to continue to point towards several positive effects if you can stay honest about what each-other want.
if you both make sure to communicate often and keep each other’s well-being a priority, then a threesome may just be a perfect thing to bring some “home improvements” to your relationship.
Today I’m going to talk about a subject that I rarely touch upon. That’s right folks, religion! I’m covering some facts about Christian dating sites and I think you’ll want to read this if you haven’t made a decision with what type of dating site you’re looking for.
Full disclosure, I’m not necessarily into the Christian or mainstream dating stuff, but that doesn’t mean that you should pass it up 100% just because I don’t like it. Research things by reading this and learn more about this niche.
I’ll kick things off with the typical introduction…
Have you been without a companion for quite some time? Is it difficult for you to find what you would consider your perfect match? Once upon a time, finding a significant other was as easy as waiting for your parents to find you your husband or wife. Nowadays, the mindsets regarding dating and relationships have changed completely.
In 2019, online dating isn’t as much the “next big thing” as it is the only thing, which is why almost everyone you know has either tried finding someone via the internet or is currently on the hunt.
Another component for why online dating has become so popular is what we often call the “hustle & bustle” or the “rat race.” Modern times require us to be busy just about every second of the day, which means it’s a lot harder now to meet individuals in person.
There are quite a few dating websites that cater to different specialties, like BDSM and swinging, but in addition to these types of “flavors,” there are also dating sites based on religion, for example, quite a few people have heard of “JDate,” a Jewish-centric dating site.
In this article, I’ll be covering Christian dating sites, in the hopes that those of this particular faith may be able to find love online.
Here’s a list of the best and they’re in no particular order. Just read up on each of them and take action where you see fit. There you go!
Zoosk has been running strong for over a decade, it’s also an alternative to Tinder, receiving a slew of awards in the process. Because of this, Zoosk has been quite successful in the online dating world, gaining a following of over 40 million individuals as of 2019. Initially, a component of Facebook, Zoosk founders Shayan Zadeh, and Alex Mehr quickly realized that the app was being used primarily for romantic connections, after which time they started pushing the dating functions as the primary use for Zoosk.
In recent years, what has made Zoosk stand out from the crowd is their Behavioral Matchmaking technology, which constant learns behinds the scenes and tries to make you better, more meaningful connections.
Match.com (who also owns Datehookup.com) has been around for an exceptionally long time, first hitting the internet in 1995, where it was featured in an article in the popular technology magazine ‘Wired”. It’s been a “pay-to-play” website since its inception, a trend that continues to this day.
Due to the sheer amount of time Match.com has been live, the company has released a version of their site in over twenty different languages, making it an extremely popular option of individuals looking for something a little more international. It’s also almost 50% single parents, to keep that in mind if you’re going to take a look.
In 2019, they’ve been releasing design and functionality updates pretty often, including layout changes and a completely new interface.
eHarmony isn’t strictly for Christians, but like the other sites I’ve already mentioned, it’s got the ability to keep your searches in line with your beliefs, which makes it a great dating resource for Christian singles.
The website was founded in 2000 by Dr. Neil Clark Warren, a clinical psychologist, as well as a proclaimed “relationship specialist” with over thirty years’ worth of experience in the field.
e-Harmony is known for its Compatibility Matching System, which Dr. Warren had a large hand in developing. The site was one of the first to offer only matches that they selected for their members, as opposed to looking for the connections themselves. It’s the perfect dating site for individuals who make be somewhat intimidated by the sheer amount of options other dating sites provide.
Easily one of the better-known Christian dating apps, Christian Mingle has been running strong since 2001. They claim to have helped hundreds of thousands of folks meet their long-term Christian partners, and claim to have a user base of over 15 million people currently.
Something that the site has made sure to tackle is the mobile realm, keeping up with their contemporaries by making their website fully accessible from mobile browsers, an approach that I think is smart, given that their user base tends to be a bit older. I would assume that this is also the main driver behind the exceptionally high marriage rates that Christian Mingle boasts about.
Interestingly, Christian Mingle offers limited functionality for free members, something that seems a little counter-intuitive given the social framework we’re discussing here.
If you can believe it, Christian Cafe is exactly what it sounds like: a website designed to set up coffee dates with fellow Christians. It is proudly Christian-owned and operated, and has been running since 1999. The site takes a hardline stance against polyamory, with married and “taken” individuals being barred from participating in the site.
Christian Cafe tends to be more about community than anything else, which is why they’re so particular about who joins their ranks. Foul language is banned, along with any sort of overt eroticism, be it in users’ photos or even in their profile text. They also are very proactive with fake profiles, eliminating any users that have been inactive for more than 90 days.
The site sticks to a more typical profile search-based approach, allowing their users to browse the profile database based on their list of requirements.
OurTime is an age-based dating platform, with users being required to be over the age of 50. The website tried to keep things a little bit more streamlined than other sites, stripping away some peripheral features instead of an “easy-to-use” interface, something they’ve done to make online dating a bit easier for the senior crowd.
OurTime offers most of their functionality free of charge, although they do offer a paid plan that provides some limited enhancements, with charges starting at $15 a month.
The site doesn’t stay strictly within the dating realm either, with OurTime offering options for friendships, short-term connections, and long-term relationships.
Rounding out this list is Christian People Meet, another Christian-specific dating site that offers a bunch of “21st century” functions like Instant Matching (a swipe function similar to Tinder) and the ability to engage in video chat.
The website’s got a modern, polished look that I appreciate, which pairs quite well with its long list of features. While they don’t have a lot of the complex compatibility functions seen on sites like Match.com or Christian Mingle, it’s still a great option for Christians looking for love.
While I’m not into the Christian dating scene, if you are, you’ve now got plenty of options. I’ve provided you with more sites than you need and if you’re not into this niche either, then great, you can hang with me at the strip clubs yucking it up with all the call girls and meeting local chicks on Fling sites.
We all know that breakups are difficult, and that doesn’t change much if it’s the end of something casual as opposed to the termination of a long-term situation. Just because your feelings aren’t as intense doesn’t mean that you still won’t get a case of the sads. And that makes sense, as it tends to be true that losing any strong connection with another individual is hard.
This can be exceptionally challenging to your self-worth, and crushing to your ego, but it’s important to pay attention to the positives and stay focused on yourself after any breakup -type situation.
Below, I’ve gotten into a few of the tactics I use to heal and move forward in the weeks and months after ending a romantic situation. Hopefully, they’ll help you during similar situations.
First things first, time to give your doctor a call and get the goods checked out. Being a casual partner means understanding the dangers associated with this lifestyle, and STDs are one of them. Being into this sort of dating means that you or your partner may have multiple partners at once, which means much greater chances of contracting something.
In 2019 we’re seeing outbreaks in communities that 50 years ago we wouldn’t have believed. Heck, even nursing homes are seeing an increased frequency of STDs. And since these issues are best handled quickly, the sooner you get in, the sooner you can get back to “getting down” without a care in the world!
Look, everyone is going to kill a couple of packs of cigarettes and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s in the days following this sort of situation, and that’s perfectly acceptable as long as you don’t let them see you cry.
If you want my advice when your friends give you a shout to hang out, do it. Even if you’re still not feeling 100%, the distraction is a great way to keep yourself from obsessing over the past.
I know I’ve been in a few emotional predicaments where I spent hours at home alone with the blinds drawn, just trying to convince myself not to call a brand new ex and talk about my feelings. This is toxic. Accept your friend’s calls, go to the parties, and try to relax. And above all else, keep your mouth shut about the breakup.
No joke, I have females friends who, in times of true emotional tumult, will send themselves flowers. It seems crazy, I’ll be the first to admit it, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t work.
Another thing I’ve done is rearranged my living space post-breakups. By eliminating clutter and organizing things, you end up also doing a bit of mental housecleaning at the same time.
Whether you take yourself out for a beer, or mail a bouquet to your own home, just make sure you set some time aside for self-care.
Honestly, this is one of the big ones as far as ways to keep your chin up. When I separated with an ex a few years back, my buddies all decided it was time for me to skateboard…at 32. But honestly, they were right, for more than one reason.
First, working your body to exhaustion with some form of exercise does wonders for depression. It honestly feels as if you can’t muster the energy to be sad, due to the sheer exhaustion you feel.
Secondly, I found out that I really enjoy the sport. Now it’s become a way to occupy my time and have fun experiences with my friends, which blows my mind, especially considering that it started as a desperate attempt to feel better after being dumped.
This is another biggie. Most folks want to run into the arms of some new companion as soon as they are alone again, and that’s a mistake.
It’s almost impossible to start a new relationship with a person if you’re dealing with residual feelings from your last situation. You’re not only pushing yourself into something new before you’ve taken time to heal, but you’re also pulling a new somebody into your mess.
Take a month or two, buy some new clothes, go about your business…it’s always better to have yourself sorted out before finding a new partner. I strongly suggest that you partake in some hookup gaming action or maybe the occasional one night stand, but nothing long-term. You need some time to breathe, trust me.
Nowadays it’s really easy to continue watching someone’s life unfold after a breakup via Facebook or other social media sites. This can get especially painful if they’re the one who looks for a rebound and finds one. Next thing you know, their status has been changed to “Taken,” and you’re crying in the corner.
It should go without saying, but a healthy amount of distance is crucial during these moments. You don’t necessarily have to cut yourself off from them completely, but blocking their feed and maybe staying away from these sites altogether is what you’ll need to heal in peace.
I half mentioned exercise above, but this is more about self-image. Getting a gym membership (I splurge on Equinox) and working on a new summer body after a cold winter’s breakup can impact your self-esteem in a positive way.
Taking control of your image and health are always going to be great approaches to feeling better about the past especially if that hot lady on the treadmill keeps looking your way.
This is great for some people in times of stress and could be the best route for you after a relationship has ended.
One thing I should say is that not everyone is meant to be a pet owner, and sometimes it’s easy to get overly emotional and make a choice you’ll regret. Pets are awesome, just make sure it’s awesome for you NOW as opposed to later.
If not, don’t be too worried. Emotions are a tricky business, and sometimes the best you can do is survive. Make sure to take care of yourself now, so that you’ll be ready for a new partner later.
If you need more ideas and things to do, such as vacationing with your guy friends or doing extra work to improve your life and overall lifestyle. Just stay busy and keep the ball moving in the right direction. Take yourself out for a nice steak and a martini with some blue cheese olives. Treat yourself right, now’s the time to do so!
Good luck and let me know if you have any questions!
The hookup, 2019’s equivalent of a first date. The phrase gets thrown around an awful lot, but what does it mean to you? Time for me to share what I think it means to most guys out there. Take it from a single guy living in one of the best cities on earth, New York City!
I know a thing or two about hooking up and this should clear the air for the single women out there interested in what’s going through our brain and body.
Truthfully, the definition for a hookup isn’t easily pinned down. The term seems to mean something completely different to each new person who uses it, usually being tied to their experiences, as well as the opinions of those around them. For men, the phrase had tended to mean connecting physically with a woman, which could mean cuddling, making out, or full blown sex.
It brings me great joy to give you ladies a bit of a peek behind the curtain regarding how men think, generally speaking. On any given day, we think about sex roughly 60% of the time.
The rest of it is taken up with survival and work. My point here is that a man is almost always going to have a tendency to connect any and every new thought immediately to “doing it.”
Throwing around a word like hookup around in the presence of your typical caveman-type will almost definitely arouse some feelings of desire.
When you’re trying to hookup, the whole situation can fly by before you’ve even had a chance to understand the situation. Sometimes you can kill the mood before there even IS a mood, all but guaranteeing that you’ll be spending that night alone.
That being said, communication is key, and starting off with a mutually agreed upon understanding of that night’s expectations can be the difference between hooking up with a person…or hooking up with your hand.
Honestly, this all comes down to how you explain yourself. For folks who like to know where they stand at all times, it can really be beneficial to be forthcoming with your wants and needs. If you’re just entering the online dating scene, it can be pretty scary out there…
However, if you’re someone who has been hitting the online hookup scene for a while, it might be easier for you to set ground rules within the first few messages, as opposed to later down the line.
What I suggest is just giving the people you talk to a simple breakdown. Say something like “I’m definitely looking for fun, but I need to make sure you understand a few things about me.”
Then, you can give them a simple breakdown of your wants, like ” I won’t do A, but I’ve positively been daydreaming about maybe trying B, as long as your OK with C.”
While as a male I’d like to think that the majority of us are down to Earth and respectful, the truth of the matter is that it’s a jungle out there. Stalkers and men with possession issues can pop up just about anywhere, which is why it’s crucial to keep your wits and common sense about you when entering into hookup situations.
Another thing you’ll definitely want to think about is just how much information you’re providing these strangers.
It can be incredibly enticing to receive attention from a potential mate, especially if you haven’t been on the scene a lot lately. But just because you’re anxious for physical connections doesn’t mean you should show them all your cards.
Make sure you select a public meeting place when having that first encounter, even if you’re intentions are to come back to yours. That extra hour of time will usually give you all the details you want to have before making a firm choice on someone.
While this is somewhat related to my “Ground Rules,” this part of hooking up deserves its own sidebar.
Asking questions is incredibly important during situations like this, and you shouldn’t be afraid to probe as deeply as you see fit.
If they seem possessive, ask them about their exes. If they’re cheap, ask them about their home and social life. If they seem too aggressive for you, ask them what they want.
I am honestly always shocked at how many people forget that they’re allowed to be curious, and embracing that quality not only gives you a higher likelihood of a safe experience, but also can often enhance the conversation, and therefore improve the connection you’re making.
Here’s a point that I don’t think women always think about when it comes to casual dating, and that’s how much fun it can be. These are exactly the types of situations that can boost your confidence and help you learn exactly what it is you like and don’t like.
Remember that this should be about you finding pleasure in the ways you like the best, not another excuse to sacrifice your needs because a man is looking to pay some attention to you.
Something that a lot of my female friends do is send screencaps of their messages and exchanges to a trusted friend before meeting their date for that night, something I think is an absolute must when hooking up.
It also isn’t a terrible idea to carry something like pepper spray or a taser when entering these sort of situations. Unfortunately, almost all of us have that one friend who has escaped a close call while walking home from the bar. This added bit of protection can be exactly what you need to enter a potential hookup with confidence.
I think it’s probably safe to say that hooking up provokes a relatively straightforward understanding in most males. A lot of us have been hooking up for years, and continue to make it our preferred dating method.
If you’re going to propose hooking up with a male friend in 2019, you should go into it knowing that they probably expect sex (I know that I’m about that life). If you don’t think that’s what you’d like, be loud and clear with what it means to you…’cause for us, it just sounds like a recipe for fun!
For some people, the idea of bringing multiple partners into the bedroom still seems too taboo to try. But a large portion of individuals and couples in 2019 are opening up to the idea of a sex life that’s a little more…interesting than their peers.
Part of the reason for this is the sheer explosion of technological advancement over the last 20 years. The World Wide Web has become a refuge for people who have often felt like their sexual needs weren’t being met. This has led to entire communities springing up, where folks can express themselves without fear of judgment or retribution. Suddenly, the idea of multiple partners seemed somehow more approachable for the average person.
Due to this, in the last decade, there’s been a huge rise in apps and websites dedicated to helping group-minded individuals make the type of connections they crave. This is why I decided to put together a list of some of the best swinging and hookup apps I’ve come across.
The first site I decided to put on this list was the Adult Friend Finder site. AFF is one of the biggest swinging/hookup apps on the market, taking over much of the market space since its inception in 2011.
The signup process for Adult Friend Finder is pretty standard, with questions based around things like your gender, age, and list of preferences. You can even add facts like whether you’re in a relationship, looking for couples, etc. After giving a general location, you’re all set to start enhancing your love life.
What I like best about Adult Friend Finder is that that they offer availability on all mobile platforms, which makes it super simple to continue conversations on the go. The mobile app is pretty seamless too, and I’ve never had any issues.
It should come as no surprise that the one and only Fling.com made the list. They’ve been turning heads for years and today is no surprise. Fling is meant for helping people have flings. Some of those “Fling things” is hooking up with multiple partners at the same time. Shocker huh? I didn’t think so.
At any rate, this network made the list because it’s just great and a solid member of the swinger line up. If you’re looking to have three people, perhaps five people in an all-out orgy, then you can do so in a matter of hours typically here.
Joining is a piece of cake and the app/site is simple to use as well. Give it a shot and you will not be disappointed.
Lucky made this list for a few reasons, but mostly due to its novel, completely anonymous approach to hooking up.
One possible downside for some is that Lucky is 100% local, meaning you aren’t going to be finding connections across state lines. Instead, Lucky wants to make sure that whatever connections you make on their site are close enough to be accessible the same evening.
Signup is (obviously) pretty stripped down, entering just a few simple responses to the typical set of questions before being let loose on their profile browser.
Lucky is the “same-day shipping” of the hookup world, and I couldn’t love it more. My experiences with their mobile applications have always been consistent, and I appreciate that even the mobile version of Lucky is super careful about what sort of information it collects from your phone.
If you’re the type of individual or couple who likes to be spontaneous and have risque adventures, I think Lucky would probably be the perfect fit for you.
SDC is short for the phrase “Seek, Discover, Create,” and has been a contender in the online swinger scene for over a decade.
The reason I like this site is that it keeps things simple. SDC has been providing an online forum for swingers for a very long time, and have perfected their chat functions over several years to include a ton of features. You can send video messages and see when members are online, along with a bunch of other options to keep the chat spicy.
More recently, they’ve made the leap into the mobile sphere, releasing apps for both iOS and Android. Since a lot of what makes SDC great is tied to their chat applications, I think this was a wise choice. This way users aren’t forced to share personal information with strangers before meeting up, something I always try to avoid.
Due to the sheer amount of chat features, along with a simple-to-use interface and dependable functionality, I think you could do a heck of a lot worse than SDC.
Feeld aka Feel’d made this list due to it’s a unique approach to swinging. The site was designed with the idea of group sex in mind, but how they enhance the search is by being able to tie multiple accounts together. This means that if you’re looking for three people to meet up with, you can specifically find groups of 3 who have actively been searching for their 4th.
It really doesn’t get a lot easier than this, and that’s not all Field brings to the table. They also offer a lot of the same anonymity filters and features that Lucky does, something that really enhanced the overall safety of using the site.
My partner and I have used Feeld quite a bit, landing ourselves in quite a few hot situations over the past year. Do yourself a favor and get the mobile app, because you need to see this one for yourself.
I have to admit; I was on the fence whether or not I should include Mixxxer in this list, as it’s had quite a few problems over the years. But throughout the past eight months or so, Mixxxr has been completely overhauling their mobile app and site, focusing a lot more on their pro-LGBTQ+ policies and mindset. While this site is for folks from all walks of life, they have been making huge effort to promote this inclusive attitude.
There aren’t too many hookup/swinging companies that stand behind this sort of altruism, which made me want to look past their technical issues.
While Mixxxer isn’t for everyone, it provides a bit of a different experience than the more traditional offerings, so I definitely think you should give it a try if you’re willing to do so. However, I cannot guarantee that this will work for you. There are many folks out there that have bad things to say about this app and that’s just how the cookies crumble, sorry I’m honest!
Safety is the name of the game on 3Fun, which means that signup is a bit of a pain. You’re forced to confirm your identity in several different ways, including email and phone verifications.
The mobile apps are nothing area where 3Fun shines, thanks to their designers being first and foremost focused on the ability to evade hackers and spam. They use face recognition software to verify all uploaded photos, which all but eliminates fake profile scams. You can also choose different privacy levels for your photo albums, something I always like having the option to do.
Honestly, other than their hardcore security, 3Fun is a pretty typical swinger site. But if you’re the cautious type, it may be the perfect choice for you.
Open Minded is dedicated to unleashing your inner freak, and they do a great job of it.
Even during the signup process, you’ll be confronted with a surprising amount of questions not seen on other sites. I refuse to wreck the surprise for you, but let’s just say that they want to know what kinds of food you like to be covered in!
I love sites that are sex-positive, especially regarding the…less traveled sexual roads. That’s why I endorse Open Minded, and why it caps this list.
Oh, and here’s a clip from the Swingers (1996) movie…
Now, if you’re looking for simply the ultimate dating apps list (something for everyone) then you’ll want to give this article a read. You’ll find something there if you’re not happy with the list I’ve just presented to you.
Some people only try what the masses adopt, which is why many people have only used Tinder. However, I’ll be the first to say that this is a huge mistake. In the modern age, you rarely hear couples talk about meeting on accident anymore. Instead, we’ve entered the age of online dating, which has completely changed the way humans “do their business,” so to speak. And this hasn’t just impacted people looking for a long-term connection, but the more casual daters as well.
Since there’s a million different hookup dating sites and apps on the web these days, it’s hard to not come across what you’re looking for. But without some guidance, it can be pretty intimidating trying to sort through the multitude of apps out there. Some apps may be providing the kind of experiences that would completely turn you off.
Since it’s kind of intense for folks just getting into Tinder-esque hookup apps, I decided to put together an overview of a few of these Tinder alternatives currently out. I’ve kept their details to a minimum so that you can get the important facts about these products, and make your choice without confusion or frustration.
The Fling.com network has easily been the number one network for hookups that’s most closely related to Tinder that I’ve ever used in my entire life. Having spent more than a year using this site/app, I can confidently say that it’s a winner and a half. Everything is effortless down to the signup process, messaging, hooking up, and more.
They’ve got the best support team on the planet too. Do yourself a favor and try this one out for free.
Lucky has been out for a year or so and has really been making waves on the casual dating scene thanks to its focus on anonymity. Signup includes having to take a selfie at the moment, after which they use facial recognition software to verify any photo uploads you make.
This is pretty awesome, and something I haven’t ever seen on a dating app. The other feature I really like about Lucky is their 24/7 help chat. I had a few moments of befuddlement when I first downloaded the app, but their responses were always pretty fast, and they got me back online in no time.
I really enjoy Bumble, because I like strong, assertive women. Bumble is an app a lot like Tinder, except the women are in control of the communication. Unless they message you first, the most you’ll be able to do is browse their profile.
Equality is awesome, and Bumble puts women squarely in the driver’s seat, something I think is pretty neat. Even if you get the occasional match who never reaches out, that’s life, I suppose.
Down is great because it keeps things simple, which is how I like my hookups to be. You find your matches in much the same way you do on Tinder, expect once you’ve matched with someone, you’ll be presented with a second swipe option, up or down. If you swipe up, you’re asking them to meet for a date. If you decide to swipe down, you’ll be merely propositioning them for casual sex, nothing more.
I like that they made this part of the app so black & white because you know exactly what you’ll be getting into. The second perk with using Down is that it’s partially meant for people who meet in public by chance. There’s a feature here where you can instantly connect with the person you’ve met in real life. I like this part in particular because it really maximizes your chances of making casual sex happen.
What caught my attention about Hot or Not is that it doesn’t kill the romance instead of practicality. Instead, this is a much more playful app, where users browse through profiles to rate the attractiveness of people.
What’s also great about this is that you can change your “what I’m looking for” answer in your profile, after which an entirely new set of features will be at your disposal. I appreciate that Hot or Not made efforts to keep things light and flirty, which sometimes can really increase the strength of connections you’ll make as you swipe.
So Feeld is almost identical to Tinder, save for one particular change: it caters to those looking specifically for group sex.
Don’t be mistaken, Feeld is still 100% suitable for those who want to meet single individuals, but there’s a completely different side to the app that’s been specifically designed for threesomes, etc.
The other part I think makes Feeld a real contender is their focus on security and privacy. Much like Lucky, they use facial recognition software to make sure that you’re not trying to create a falsified profile.
Zooks is built for the indecisive, which makes it a bit of a fun app to play with. Even during your profile set up on the app, Zoosk makes it clear that they offer no guarantees outside of the ability to swipe and chat.
This is because Zoosk is primarily focused on a fun and relaxing experience, without the high stakes “will she or won’t she” moments that you may get with apps like Tinder or Lucky. They’re also very serious about their user’s data being kept safe. If you’re curious, there’s an exhaustive amount of text about their methods in the Zoosk FAQ.
Rounding out the list is Happn, an app that I included because it’s really brought an interesting new batch of features to the hookup scene.
Simply put, Happn is for those moments on the street when you can’t look away from someone. Occasionally, you’ll be lucky enough to have that person staring back at you with similar thoughts, but it usually ends there.
With this one, you don’t have to suffer through the what ifs, because you can literally GPS tag your location on a map inside of the mobile app. After you post, you’ll be asked to fill out a description of who you saw, what they were wearing, etc.
If they tag themselves and describe you, Happn’s moderators will then connect your stories in the app. This is where the swiping comes in, as you can pour through these stories until you find your own missed connection.
I’ve never seen this before, but it really makes things a little more interesting. You could see a ten walk by and be chatting with them mere moments later.
Now, if you’re ready to take the plunge and try one of these apps, then I sincerely suggest reading this page before taking any action.