In the world of dating, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Thanks to a new dating app consultant, you can spend your hard earned money on someone who will make your profile stand out among the crowd. Yep, it’s true. We’ve reached a point in time where people are outsourcing their profile creation.
Meet Meredith Golden The Dating Consultant
Anyone who uses dating apps like Tinder or Bumble should pay attention, because it’s the little things that get people to swipe right these days. Since 2015, Meredith Golden has been helping people with their dating profiles. She made a post on Facebook offering to help friends and the former psychotherapist and at home Mom saw this little gig turn into a full blown venture. Her website is SpoonMeetSpoon.com, and her fees fetch as much as $2,000 monthly!
I’m all for being perfect, like the late Curt Henning, aka “Mr. Perfect.” However, you won’t see this nut of a person paying that much for a profile upgrade. She’s crazy if she thinks a savant like me, a serial dater, if you will, would pay that sort of a fee to get my profile up to her caliber.
But then again, there are suckers born every day, and some people simply don’t have the “A game” I bring to the table, day in, and day out.
I should re-iterate that the $2,000 fee is the most expensive package she offers, and not only does it include the perfect dating profile, but it also offers you the chance to have Golden swipe and chat with your matches. You simply show up for the dates she lines up for you. It’s that simple.
Golden starts off with a 20 minute questionnaire to get to know the client’s voice and demeanor. This way, she’s armed with enough info to replicate the tone and conversation when she chats with anyone they are matched up with.
She charges $300 for a dating profile package, and $600 for a “Dating Diagnosis” that shows you where you are making errors in your conversations.
Zack Guzman of Yahoo! Finance let her check out his profile so he could sample her services.
Does Meredith Golden’s Dating Service Work?
Guzman gave her the power to take over his Bumble profile and sent her a bunch of photo options she could pick and choose from. They went back and forth over the re-set, and his profile was completed and he felt it was very similar to what he initially began with.
After the profile reset, she advised him to stay away from Bumble on the weekends, which was weird to me. Like the gym, I subscribe to the #nodays off policy when it comes to swiping away for women I want to meet and fuck. But hey, I’m a savage and I do things my way. Her logic is that you don’t want to look like you don’t have anything to do on the weekends.
My rebuttal to that is, people don’t care. They are always on the phone. If I’m in an Uber or Lyft, I am swiping. If I’m waiting on someone, I’m swiping. Swipe or die, that’s the way I see it. You pay for the apps for a reason, you know?
Am I not going to hook up with a woman or think any less of her because she swiped me on a Saturday Night? Hell no. In fact, nine times out of ten you never find out when they actually swiped, so I am totally against her logic there.
Maybe I start my own swipe consulting service?
Golden’s other advice to Guzman was:
- No group photos
- Make your headshots happy
- Emphasize the positive
I agree with these, just for the record.
Guzman went on to report his results:
He asked friends to choose the before or after profile. He had gathered differing opinions on this. He then continues to say that like beauty, the perfect dating profile lies in the eye of the beholder. I tend to agree with him. People are going to swipe if they are:
- into you
- horny
- really desperate
That said, save your money on the consultant, and if you want to get down and dirty, join an adult sex app. You can thank me later.
